Archive for October, 2007

In a scene that must have been reminiscient of Jabba the Hutt pulling a resistant Princess Leia closer by her chain, Don Vito of “Viva La Bam” fame, got caught groping a few underage girls.

The often stammering Vito was convicted Wednesday of two counts of sexual assault on a child. He was accused of groping three girls ages 12 to 14 during an autograph signing event last year at mall skate park near Denver. In a weird dramatic moment, he fell to the floor after the sentence, cursing and yelled, “Just kill me now.”

He could get anything from probation to six years in prison on each conviction. If he doesn’t undergo sex offender treatment as part of the sentence, he could potentially spend life in prison. Which might actually be good for his health. How many inmates do you see that are his waist size?

His defense attorney argued that he took on the persona of “outrageous and profane Don Vito”. She said that Vito learned that the crazier he acted, the more his fans loved it.

Let’s face it. This guy wasn’t going to get laid…ever, if not for this show. And let’s face it, it must have still been hard for a man of his, ummm lard. So, he played grab-ass and got what he could get.

Unfortunately, it was alot more then he bargained for.

[Yahoo]

Apparently she’s not a shaving cream and soap on cars, or toilet papering someone’s house kinda girl. So just how did Paris spend Mischief night?

Well, at least part of it was spent at an adult video store in Toronto, where she entered wearing a Halloween mask, demanding that they take down posters that promoted her infamous sex tape. Then she threatened to call the police as well as her lawyer.

Then a little while later, her manager entered telling the employees there to keep the incident quiet and threatening legal action.

What’s the point Paris? We’ve all seen it. In fact, if you could do us all a favor and go porn star full time, some of us would appreciate it.

Ok, so it didn’t really happen on Mischief Night. Close enough.

[Damnimcute]

NBC could not have made it more clear. In 2009, Jay Leno is out. Conan O’Brien will be replacing his comically large chinned predecessor as host of the Tonight Show.

Whether Leno is having second thoughts or not, the announcement by NBC Universal President and CEO Jeff Zucker on Monday suggests that it is a done deal.

A deal for Leno’s exit was finalized three years ago as part of NBC Universal’s effort to keep “Late Night” host O’Brien from bolting to a competing network. Leno marked his 15th year as host of “Tonight” last May.

Translation: Leno has only held the position for as long as he has because he stole it from David Letterman. Conan is younger, funnier, hipper and in general easier to look at.

This shouldn’t really come as a surprise. And besides, I’ve always thought there was something weaselly about Leno. Just could never put my finger on it. Oh yeah. Leno himself. But maybe that’s just me.

[AOL News]

SciFi Wire is reporting that the Battlestar Galactica series is currently “Open ended”.

Edward James Olmos had made some comments at the Saturn Awards on May 10 that stated otherwise. But they want to assure fans that there has been no end announced for the hit show.

Look no further then the fact that they are getting ready to film it’s fourth season, which will include 22 episodes, instead of the previously announced 13.

From producer David Eick:

“For those of you who have been paying attention over the years, this is not the first time Eddie has made an announcement about the possibility of the show’s end,” chuckled Eick. “I promise you that when [executiuve producer] Ron [Moore] and I make a decision about Galactica’s future, we’ll let you know.”

I have a feeling they may have been planning to jump ship, then fan outcry made them rethink the decision. It also doesn’t hurt that David Eick’s latest project, Bionic Woman is tanking quickly.

[SciFi Wire]

The folks at Maxim have been brainstorming and they’ve come up with a list of the top 5 unsexiest women alive. Though it seems mean and pointless, it’s all part of the primordial soup we call Pop Culture. Personally, I agree with most of their choices. If you happen to frequent Hollywood and take one of these gals home, bring a six pack and paper grocery bag. So here goes:

5- Britney Spears. Apparently Maxim took the easy road choosing #5. While I agree, she’s not what she used to be, I thought she still looked hot at the VMAs. Just get off Britney already. Some other guy probably just did.

4- Madonna. Oh yeah. This aging diva has seen better days. From affecting foreign accents that aren’t her own, to making a spectacle of herself at the wailing wall and just plain weirding people out, it would take at least a six pack and some nyquil for her to get our attention these days.

3- Sandra Oh. As in Oh my God, this chick is way too skinny. Isn’t she like the 5th or 6th wheel on that popular Doctors show?

2- Amy Winehouse. Just plain scary. And it takes alot to creep guys out. I’m not sure who robbed her grave on a previous Halloween, but please for the love of God. Put her back!

1-Sarah Jessica Parker. I could not agree more on this one. She looks like a strange merging of every skinny nightmare hippy girl we’ve ever seen. And why the long face? Not to throw in a horse reference, but I swear some guy is feeding her peanut butter off camera to get her lips smacking so they can dub in a voice later.

[Maxim]

Good news for fans of the horror series SAW this weekend at the box office. It literally killed. So I am sure you can look forward to SAW V soon.

The sadistic spirit of this movie franchise lives on, despite the “Saw Killer” being dead. This installment cut deep on it’s opening weekend, with $32.1 million making it the Halloween favorite for yet another year.

Disney’s “Dan in Real Life” starring Steve Carell and Juliette Binoche came in at Number 2, taking in $12.1 million.

These figures come during a time when the overall Hollywood revenues have declined for 6 straight weekends, while Saw IV just about matched what Saw III took in last year.

Something tells me that we will be seeing a new Saw movie every year for a LONG time. Proof that we are all very sick indeed.

[MSNBC]

In a move to replace one bubbly blonde with another, Jessica will be sitting in for Elizabeth Hasselbeck, while she is off for maternity leave on November 15 and 16.

This could turn into something to watch if some serious topics should come up. Looks like she’ll get plenty of opportunities to stick her foot in her mouth. Of course you never know, she might surprise us. But somehow I doubt it. Remember her whole “Chicken of the Sea” thing?

And if she does display her usual lack of knowledge, will the others lay into her, or just roll their eyes? This could indeed be Must See TV. The only thing better would be if Nick Lachey were one of the guests on that day.

You don’t think she’ll be wearing her Daisy Duke shorts do you? Damn, now I have to watch.

[JustJared]

Seems that Posh Spice aka Victoria Beckham is unhappy with the fact that she has a total of 4 lines on the new Spice Girls track. I guess it never occurred to her that producers know how to sell albums.

A spokesman for the band had this to say. “The verses have all been shared out equally among the five members and they all sing together on the chorus.”

C’mon Vicky, at best you look like a walking mannequin these days, whose nipples proceed her. Carrying your trendy handbag is a full day for you. Be thankful for what you have.

I’m guessing that memorizing those 4 lines nearly made her head explode. And while we are on the subject of Posh, why exactly does she shape shift from sometimes store mannequin, to looking like a weird alien hybrid? I mean, half the time, her sunglasses seem too big for her body. She can’t be from this planet.

Yep. If you want to get through to Posh, you have to send signals through the SETI satellite dish, and if you get the WOW signal back, it’s because that thought doesn’t overwhelm her.

Smarten up Posh. Be real. Not real weird.

He made not be making much music of his own these days but any doubt that Sean “Diddy” Combs isn’t one of music’s shrewdest business people should now be long gone.

Diddy has just inked a sweet deal with the makers of Ciroc vodka that guarantees him a whopping 50% share in the profits of the alcoholic beverage. Combs isn’t agreeing to endorse the high-end vodka, he’s becoming intimately involved with the running, marketing and sales of the product right down to in which stores Ciroc will be sold to consumers. He wants to bring style, sophistication and sex to the brand name and believes that he deliver all that to Ciroc’s owners, Diageo PLC. “They’re looking for something that tastes like their lifestyle,” Puffy told of the kind of people he wants to bring to consume Ciroc, the assembled press at the unveiling of the deal. “It’s that trendsetter, that hipster, someone who’s looking for luxury and looking for something better.”

For a man that has crafted his music persona into a multi-million dollar apparel and perfume products we certainly think that Combs is the one to make drinking high-end vodka the next it thing amongst the club crowd. And if Ciroc’s public star begins to rise as everyone hopes for Diddy stands up to make $100 million dollars from his new deal. That’s a lot of bottles.

When last we left the dim-witted saga that is Paris Hilton’s day to day strife, she was waxing philosophical about freezing her body before death. Apparently this would take place in a not too distant future, where scientist geeks would revive her, only to have their hopes of grateful-actress-sex with a thawed skank dashed as she fixed on the first shiny object. It only goes downhill from there.

I found this video of a German commercial that is supposedly for lingerie. This bizarre trip will last about 30 seconds and involves www.goyellow.de, which is apparently a German phone directory.

It begins with Paris in bed, flopping about like a ditzy human fish deprived of oxygen. She flops, fidgets, puts her legs up in the air, takes a bite of an apple as she flips through the book, then rescues her tiny undies from the great and powerful Sarlacc Pit of her ass crack, flips through the book some more, then generally looks dumbfounded.

Enter generic delivery dude. He rings the door bell, giving Paris an excuse to really flex her acting chops, which consists of widening her eyes and looking toward the door, before slipping into some whore shoes and answering in her little yellow lingerie. The delivery kid holds up some kind of pastry looking thing and Paris seems mesmerized. The creepiest part is when she grabs it and says thank you in a freaky strange alien voice.

This little video jaunt kinda makes me feel like I’ve mixed acid with porn, and forgot all the good bits. I have to admit, Paris is hot as ever despite the vacancy sign behind her eyes. Check it out after the jump: (more…)