When I told the staff about an assignment that I wanted to undertake, they told me I was crazy. This kind of predator can not be caught, they said. It’s dangerous. It’s insanity. But someone had to do it.

This undercover assignment would be personal. Some sicko’s you just have to take down. They all prey on the weak, but some prey on your heart.

Take our subject. Let’s call him “Charlie”. We learned that Charlie was a predator. Just what kind, we would find out later. Our sources said he was an illegal immigrant, he was supposedly into everything from illegal gun running, drugs, all the way up to murder for hire. He also liked to meet people he met online, in real life.

I wanted to catch him in the act, so the PopTherapy staff and I set up an elaborate sting operation. One of our staff met Charlie in a chat room. Our undercover staffer used the name “youngdumbhuman432″, Charlie was using the alias, “Spiderface263″.

Here is part of that conversation:

youngdumbhuman432: LOL That’s cool. Are you really a hunter?

Spiderface263:Baby, I come from a long line of hunters. But what I really want to talk about is your flesh…

It wasn’t long before our staffer gave him the fake address for them to meet.

But we would be waiting…..To catch a predator…

At 5:15 the doorbell rang. Our undercover decoy answered the door.

Decoy: “hi. I’ve been waiting. I’m all alone.”

Predator: “Oh good. I brought some booze.”

Decoy: “I’ll be right back. I just want to change real quick”

Our Predator seemed to have no clue that this was a set-up. Now was my chance to move in and startle him.

Our camera gets it’s first good look. His mandibles are fugly.

I enter the room and he seems startled. “Hi. My name is Chris Hanson…I mean… I’m with an online site called PopTherapy. What’s going on here?”

He is clearly nervous. “I just wanted to make sure she was ok. I wasn’t going to eat her. I was going to tell her she shouldnt meet people like this. I thought she was an Alien. We are at war.”

“uh-huh”, I say. I dig in the bag he brought inside with the booze. I find condoms. “What’s this?”

The predator runs, but there is nowhere to go. Police tackle him and stop him outside.

Another predator caught. Our job is done. The predator tries to detonate an atomic bomb on his wrist-link, but is taken down quickly.

Poptherapy…Doing our part to make the world a safer place.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm and is filed under Satire. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Be sure to subscribe to the PopTherapy.com feed because it is really, really funny. Have something funny you want to share? Please let us know.