Archive for April, 2008

How are you gonna reinvent the bottle? It’s a tough one. There’s only so much you can do. So, why not market it to carry your pee all over the place?

Comes in his and hers blue and pink. Proudly pee anywhere you like, then carry it with you. Maybe take snapshots of you holding your pee bottle at famous landmarks. Just look at the kids in that pic. Those are some happy kids. They appear to be smelling their own urine.

[Mypeebottle]

I’d be drinking too if I had to sit through all those idiots. They all sound like they’re singing through a cat’s ass.

I try not to watch the show myself, but apparently the kooky judge gave a critique for a performance that had yet to take place last night. I’d say that shows clearly that the show is scripted. It also shows that she may have been hitting the sauce.

[thehollywoodgossip]

This shirt was made to look like a Haynes workshop manual. Except it’s for R2 units! It will cost the chic geek $24. Inside you’ll find a bicycle, turntable, a Dalek from Dr. Who, and a dentist’s chair. Proof that R2 has got some weird ass stuff inside of him.

[redbubble]

Well kids, if you’re gonna smoke the chronic, this will have you seeing UFO’s before you even start. Before too long, you’ll see little green men soon after too. Only $16.80.

[Nerd Approved]

Star Magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes has been a bad girl. She spent 3 days at Gold Base, the Scientology compound in Hemet, CA. According to an inside source, she went through some serious tests and purification sessions at Tom Cruise’s insistence.

The source said that the boot camp includes, “various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes. Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.” Apparently, one of the auditing sessions reportedly lasts 36 hours with little sleep and food.

Seems that things haven’t changed all that much since L. Ron Hubbard decided to create himself a fake religion all those years ago. I’ll never understand why so many people have fallen for it, but the old jackass was right. There’s a ton of money to be made having your own religion. One can only hope that the more brutal aspects that we’ve heard about are no longer in practice, but somehow I think they are alive and well.

[Damnimcute]

In an interview with Oprah, Cher revealed her relationship with Tom Cruise.

Jesus, thinking about these two humping is like walking in on two retards fucking. You’re not sure who you feel more sorry for, but it’s sloppy and wrong and your lunch is on the floor.

“He was a shy boy. He didn’t have any money. One night we walked into this restaurant in New York and this girl came up, this waitress came up and she took our order and stuff like that and he said, ‘I knew that girl in school and she wouldn’t give me the time of day.’ “

Cher also said, ”I lived in his apartment.” Tom Cruise was 23 at the time; Cher was 39.

So, she likes gay men. What’s the problem?

In the pic he’s all like, “OMG, it was weird with a vagina.” And she’s all like, “OMG, I know. But you still did good.”

[Damnimcute]

Let’s face it, many of us are going to die on the couch watching South Park and the like. Especially the obese, which is how they got so obese…By not moving. So, it’s about damn time somebody combined the couch and the coffin.

These Coffin Couches are made of genuine recycled coffins. Perfect for that Funeral home look. Your sad carcass provides the corpse.

[Coffincouches]

Ashton Kutcher will appear in the May issue of Details Magazine and already it’s generated controversy as some of the violent photos were leaked online, zipping around the blogosphere. The cover of the magazine shows Kutcher with the caption, “Ashton Kutcher Gets His Ass Kicked”.

Inside the magazine, you’ll see pictures of a bloody Kutcher and other photos showing the actor bound by duct tape and hanging from a metal pole a few feet off the ground. The photo shoot was done by famed photographer Steve Klein.

I can’t help feeling a tad disappointed. I really wanted him to get his ass kicked for real.

[Ashtonkutcher]

The new Indiana Jones film will hit theaters in less than a month. Now you can get yourself a toy version of Indy’s most famous accessory. The bull whip. “Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you the whip.”

Watch your kid break every damn thing in your house, while he’s pretending to be an archaeologist.

Yes, it’s lame. Not dangerous at all. It’s a three foot soft whip with a plastic handle that plays authentic whip-cracking sound effects as you swing it, and the well-known Indiana Jones theme music. A switch on the handle turns the sounds on and off, and it even features a carrying strap for attaching it to your belt. It will cost you $26.99.

I personally was hoping for something a bit more dangerous.

[Entertainment Earth] VIA [Slippery Brick]

I’ve known all along that he’s a real dude. Going to work 9 to 5, exterminating Koopas and Goombas and going on plumbing jobs with his bro Luigi, then heading home to bang the princess and have a TV dinner while watching Mythbusters. Business could probably be better though, so he is always on the hunt for coins. But man, what a life.

You the man Mario. You and your sweet un-Nintendo like van.

[Technabob]