One of the few perks to being a good looking blog writer, is that sometimes people will send you stuff. Panties, requests for sex, notes from irate husbands, etc. Hasbro sent me this Super Soaker Bottle Shot so I could try it out and let you know what I thought.

The only downside with all water guns is that eventually you have to refill it. The Super Soaker Bottle Shot allows you to screw on a standard plastic bottle instead. In fact it can even accommodate a 2 liter soda bottle allowing you to reuse them as back up liquid ammunition for when you’re in the heat of battle.

I wanted to test this properly so I gathered an accomplice and hit the road. My plan was simple. To see how many wet T-shirts I could outfit women in, in a very short time. My goal was an entire town of women with wet shirts! It was bold but necessary. First, we hit the stores and stocked up on about 200 2-liter bottles of coke. We got some smaller bottles too, just in case.

Then it was go time. We loaded our truckload of 2-liter ammo in a van and we were off. From the drivers seat I cruised around for women, while my back-up gunner had ammo at the ready.

I spotted the first victim. It was a pedestrian milf coming home from a PTA meeting. I eased up along the sidewalk and said “Hey there. Can you help me?” She said “sure”. She helped me alright. Helped me see what she looked like under that shirt.

One after another they got soaked. It was like an endless montage of soda flying and shirts magically clinging to boobs. We laughed, we cried. We were high on our own power. Until the incident.

I female bicyclist coming up on my partner’s side. It only required a quick pull on the soaker and I could shoot through his window and nail her. So I did. And she shot back. A stream of mace right in my comrade’s eyes. Through his screams of “Man down. Man down” I tried to fire back, but the cyclist was good, she slowed plus I had traffic around. Worse yet, I failed to see her boobs as she rode the wind. So I slowed.

I used my teeth to undo the cap on a small coke bomb and poured some in my buddies eyes hoping to help him, but he only screamed louder and climbed in the back. Then I reloaded and looked in the rear view. A town full of drenched glistening beauties were closing in from behind. They weren’t happy.

“Bombs away” I shouted and my buddy fumbled for the van’s back door and began blindly tossing soda out the back. More women drenched in corn syrup blocked the road ahead.

My comrade was doing good but running out of ammo. Time for Plan B. I kicked him out the back and said, “I got the sexest bastard!” But they were still coming for me.

The last thing I saw was the Mentos truck, sliding out of control on all of that soda. There was a flash. A huge foamy wave…

I woke up the next day in a tree. The newspaper said that the entire town had been soaked. Mission completed.

I wouldn’t advise trying this at home. Those women know my face. And I have trouble sleeping.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 2:12 pm and is filed under Toys. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Be sure to subscribe to the PopTherapy.com feed because it is really, really funny. Have something funny you want to share? Please let us know.