MyFace Condoms are custom condoms with your image printed on them. You can add your name and phone number if you like. It’s like a business card in that you will give it to someone, then that person may or may not get back to you, but if the do you’ll probably get f**ked. Just like in business.

Thing is, these are a bad idea. Let’s say I decide to bang some girl I shouldn’t be banging at someone else’s place where I should not be bringing girls to bang. Hey, it could happen. I do get a few hours to myself when not blogging about condoms and the like. Anyway, I open the condom, we do the nasty, she tells me that I’ve ruined her for all other men and we part company.

But I left the condom wrapper! Now they know my face. Now I have to explain to my grandmother why her hospital bed smells like sex, with my torn picture on the dresser.

[Nerve]

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