Archive for the 'Jennifer Lopez' Category

Apparently Jennifer Lopez has been converted to Scientology by her best friend, King of Queens star Leah Remini, who I would bang like a particle accelerator creating a black hole. In an interview with The Daily Beast, J. Lo says she’d let her children attend a Scientology school then basically confesses she’s part of the cult herself:

“I do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. It’s very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it.”
“Do you consider yourself a Scientologist?”
“No…I wouldn’t have a problem saying [I was] because I know what it is. I have no problems with it and it really actually bothers me that people have such a negative feeling towards it.”
“That it is too exotic? Too cultish?”
“Just negative feelings.”
“Would you consider schooling Emme and Max in a Scientology school?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful…It’s all about communication. That’s the thing I really don’t like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion…I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.”

Yeah, it must be hard defending a religion that L. Ron Hubbard created on a whim to make money. And L. Ron was never ever cruel to his followers, especially women… JLO get a fucking grip and smell the foul anus of reality….As for you Leah Remini, I’ll show you religion that will have you on your knees and on your back crying out the name of your one true god…me.

JLo didn’t let it all hang out in the Triathlon. Instead she kept it all packed in. Tight. In a dumpy looking wet suit. Word is some whales tried to mate with her ass, but the only thing it sang back was a strong bean fart smell so they went after other game.

Here’s JLo training for the upcoming Nautica Malibu Triathlon, while simultaneously training for the women’s camel toe team. As you can see from the pic, she’s nearly there. It looks like she has about a one third cameltoe right now. I think she can take the gold. J-Lo is competing to raise money for Children’s Hospital of LA.

JLo already has a clothing line, but she is now producing her new lingerie collection with Yamamay, an Italian brand and franchising network owned by lingerie producer Inticom SpA.

Yamamay will be producing and selling the JLo for Yamamay collection in an exclusive deal for the next three years.

The collection has been available in Yamamay stores since mid November and is designed to target sophisticated women.(Cause everybody looks sophisticated in a glittery bra and G-string) Bras, panties and babydolls are very sexy and can be had in tones of black, red, electric blue and silver. The materials are satin, chenille and metallic cloth, decorated with rhinestones and crystals.

Well JLo, I’m trying really hard not to be fooled by the rocks you got, and it doesn’t seem like you are still Jenny from the block. The Jenny on my block isn’t all decked out in crystal and lace ho-wear. She’s too busy taking the money she would have spent on your lingerie and paying off her mortgage.

[JLo for Yamamay]