Archive for the 'Katie Holmes' Category

So the question is, when is Katie Holmes going to produce another Tom Cruise spawn? You know, so Tome can take over the world with Scientology. Ok! Magazine reports:

In the December issue of Glamour, the star of the upcoming Australia explains that Connor, her teenage son with Tom, is still hoping for a brother. “[He] would like one of us to have a boy,” she confesses. “He wants that boy. Katie?”
“At 41, Nicole knows she’s not likely to have another baby,” a friend of the actress tells OK!. “It’s obviously up to the much younger Katie to give Connor that baby brother.”
And the Cruises are more than ready to welcome a new child into their lives.
“Katie and Tom very much want another baby,” a friend of the couple tells OK!. “There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier.”

Look, it’s real simple. It’s called sex. Have some. Your demon spawn will follow soon after. Then you can continue your campaign of being the world’s biggest douche.

I guess she’s already learning Tom’s art of Scientology hypnotism. You know the one that makes people like you even though you’re a douche. Katie looks naturally scared and subservient to Suri.

Protesters outside the “All My Sons” production expressed their displeasure with the cult of Scientology and Tom Cruise, who was personally on hand to babysit his Stepford wife.

Fuck! I don’t know whether to be excited or feel shame. This is like someone’s grandmother wearing a tight sweater and showing some nip. One one hand, it’s nipples, on the other is this some Walmart greeter off duty?

Scientology? You’re sucking on it. Shouldn’t she have moved on to sippy cups by now at least. Perhaps she sucks from the milk of special Scientology cows? weird. And Katie continues to look like an old yenta that you wouldn’t bang in a million years.

I’m surprised she isn’t wearing a sweater to the beach. Christ she looks like she’s from the 1950’s. Throw a B-movie monster at her and she’ll look right at home. Oh the monster is Tom.

Here she is again with the hair and clothing of my grandmother. Katie will make her Broadway debut on Sept. 18 in the play ” All My Sons”. Apparently Tom gave her permission to be out in the world.

Star Magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes has been a bad girl. She spent 3 days at Gold Base, the Scientology compound in Hemet, CA. According to an inside source, she went through some serious tests and purification sessions at Tom Cruise’s insistence.

The source said that the boot camp includes, “various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes. Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.” Apparently, one of the auditing sessions reportedly lasts 36 hours with little sleep and food.

Seems that things haven’t changed all that much since L. Ron Hubbard decided to create himself a fake religion all those years ago. I’ll never understand why so many people have fallen for it, but the old jackass was right. There’s a ton of money to be made having your own religion. One can only hope that the more brutal aspects that we’ve heard about are no longer in practice, but somehow I think they are alive and well.

[Damnimcute]

Tom Cruise thinks Victoria Beckham may have too much influence on his zombie wife, Katie Holmes. And yes that pic IS in fact Katie Holmes and IS NOT an old friend of your mother’s from the retirement home.

According to a source:

“Katie sees Victoria as a role model.”

“She copies Victoria’s look and even cut her hair the same way. She is very thin largely because she is following Victoria’s strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria’s fad of eating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is tiny.”

First off, who the hell would use that reject for a role model? Secondly, seaweed shakes are for mermaids. This girl needs serious kelp.(get it? Kelp…)

At a recent lunch at L.A.’s Osteria Mozza, Holmes ate “only steamed asparagus as an appetizer, then a tiny plate of chilled beets for her entrée,” a diner told Life and Style magazine.

Then there was another encounter, where Katie and Posh shared a green salad without dressing, one piece of fish and one side of steamed spinach. They also ordered one regular Coke and two glasses of ice.

These two dingbats can at least help keep each other tethered to the planet, while the air in their heads builds up like helium.

[Damnimcute]

Does not compute! Does not compute! Logic circuits overloaded! Warning! Warning!

Looks like Scientology has a ways to go before their programming of an individual is perfected. Katie reportedly stormed out of a Scientology meeting, pissed off and stressed over her handler Tom’s recent video shenanigans. Also, “Mad Money,” Katie’s first movie since Tom jumped into her life – isn’t doing so well at the box office. She’s probably pissed that Tom made her do that little celluloid turd, when she could have been in “The Dark Knight”.

I’m sure her programming/psychotropic drugs will kick in soon and she will be back to acting like a Zombie with a new hair do.

Poor Katie, we hardly knew ye.

[Celebitchy]