Archive for the 'Food' Category

Not the planet. These chocolates are shaped like anuses. I almost didn’t share this one because it’s just so nasty and also juvenile. But since you know me so well, you knew I had to share this. Plus, I know that some of you have always wished there were some sort of choco-anus you could lick and suck. Hey, I’m not judging you. I have a blowup doll of Bea Arthur in my closet, wearing a swarovski studded girdle.

Here it is, the Incredible Edible Anus. You heard correct. Or as I like to call them, butthole bon bons. You can order a box of 12 or a single 35mm x 25mm x 25mm ‘Big Boy’ for about $6. And for a limited time you can get one made out of pure silver for about $470!

Eat up!

[Edibleanus]

No, it’s not a new RPG with the Doritos name. Doritos are teasing consumers once again with Mystery flavors. Last year they launched an all black bag named X-13D that tasted like…cheeseburger.

This year Doritos has a new black mystery bag called ”The Quest”.
On the package, consumers are led online if they think they can guess the flavor. You play a series of puzzles for a chance to win $100,000 in gold (or the cash). The first three people to solve everything will be sent to a secret city for a live event to compete for the $100,00.

That’s a lot of fucking work, when I could just be eating Doritos.

[Doritos]

Japan is way ahead of us when it comes to combining boob and pudding technologies. Here in the U.S. we just can’t seem to make it work. It may have something to do with the juxtaposition of making tech things smaller, while boobs need to be bigger. I’m not sure.

These are all over Japanese markets and department stores. Word is that the boob puddings taste milky, sweet and have a vaguely slimy taste to them.

[Inventorspot]

Who was that masked man? I don’t know, but he appeared from nowhere, waving a weiner at me from the tip of his sword.

En garde! Here’s the perfect item for gay BBQ parties and just plain fun with hot dogs. Careful while waving your sword around, someone might just take a bite out of your weiner.

[Firebox]

Here’s some tasty looking pork lunch meat…with a face! You can see from the sign that it’s 80% pork, but what the hell is the other 20%?

Meat with a face on it? Sign me up. This makes it easier to converse with my dead lunch. Cause you know, it’s all about the social interaction these days.

Might be nice to have a meat seance and summon the spirit of the dead meat. This way when the otherworldly spirit of the porker arrives, it has a face with which to speak to me.

[Geekologie]

Oreos are great right? They’re all awesome and sugary and the fast track to diabetes. Very American. But the Chinese don’t like em. The Oreo was very unpopular when it was first introduced to the Chinese market. They found it too sweet. And they don’t like round, they like wafer style cookies, plus the package size was too expensive.

So Kraft worked its way through 20 different, less-sweet formulas until it found the right combination, and changed it into wafer style, with four layers of cookie, filled with vanilla AND chocolate cream. And then they coated the whole thing in chocolate! And this is supposed to be “less sweet”?

They look pretty damn good. But wait, there’s more. According to the Wall Street Journal, Kraft launched a marketing campaign designed by local managers, in which 300 college students:

“were trained to become Oreo brand ambassadors. Some of the students rode around Beijing on bicycles outfitted with wheel covers resembling Oreos and handed out cookies to more than 300,000 consumers. Others held Oreo-themed basketball games to reinforce the idea of dunking cookies in milk. Television commercials showed kids twisting apart Oreo cookies, licking the cream center and dipping the chocolate cookie halves into glasses of milk.”

These are just Oreos people. Get a freakin life. Video below. Damn, now I’m hungry. Damn you all to hell!
(more…)

Another day, another Mario cake. This one is just bursting out of the cake and his face is kinda strange looking, like they have plastic surgery in Mario Land now.

Kinda reminds me of that farm girl/stripper I hired to jump out of a cake and celebrate the fact that today is Friday. She was also wearing overalls and is gonna end up with a mushroom in her hand too.

[Cooking is my passion]

This is a perfect gift to send people a none too subtle hint. I’m thinking mother-in-laws. Each piece comes with a message:

“Get your snout in this. Shove every single square in your face right now. And do it quick. Or some other fat pig might ask you for a piece. Oink, oink!”

[Fatpigchocolate]

Squishy pillows shaped like your favorite breakfast cereals are pretty neat, but they don’t offer the best damn cereal ever. Where the hell is Boo-Berry? Franken Berry is too damn light in the loafers for my taste. Give me the Boo-Berry ghost anyday. Hit the link to check out more varieties.

[Funtocollect]

R u too sexi? Why not purrrsonalize ur own Jones label!

Jones Soda is running a contest in conjunction with icanhascheezburger to put a lolcat on their soda bottles.

The contest requires you to submit a “lol” and vote on other ppl’s submissions to find that special lol. The top 5 Top Rated lolz will make the final cut. The contest runs from Monday 3/24/2008 to Friday 4/25/2008.

Jones Soda has created a cult following over the years with passionate soda drinkers. The company has been recognized and awarded for its unique packaging that features constantly changing labels that are generated and submitted by its consumers.

I can’t really say I understand the whole LOLCat phenomenon but that shouldn’t stop you from flexing your poor grammar skillz to come up with a label. This post sapped most of my brainpower to write. I need to go read a dictionary now.

[News.com]