A shirt with some good advice…when it comes to gadgets…Not women. Never try another hole with your lady friend unless you have permission. Trust me on this. That goes for various objects around the house too, including watermelons, various fruit and toilet paper tubes. It doesn’t matter how I know. Just heed my advice.
Who was that masked man? I don’t know, but he appeared from nowhere, waving a weiner at me from the tip of his sword.
En garde! Here’s the perfect item for gay BBQ parties and just plain fun with hot dogs. Careful while waving your sword around, someone might just take a bite out of your weiner.
How are you gonna reinvent the bottle? It’s a tough one. There’s only so much you can do. So, why not market it to carry your pee all over the place?
Comes in his and hers blue and pink. Proudly pee anywhere you like, then carry it with you. Maybe take snapshots of you holding your pee bottle at famous landmarks. Just look at the kids in that pic. Those are some happy kids. They appear to be smelling their own urine.
The Doctor has one, so naturally, the Master his arch rival Timelord enemy has one too. It’s cooler then the Doctor’s, but not as versatile. It will set you back $18.99 and keep you from touching a woman.
I’ve been watching my step ever since the Knife-Block Head incident. Which is why I was not a bit surprised when the wife comes home with a new knife block, with a figure of my likeness all tied up and bound. She’s been amusing herself by twirling the damn thing and throwing the knives, in order to put them away. The little guy remains fine, but our walls have become the new knife holder.
Update: She’s out in the garage making a full scale wood replica of this knife holder.
Update # 2: She’s nearly done. When last I looked she had drawn a body outline in the center that reads “Conner tied here.”
Update # 3: My bags are packed and I’m blogging on the run. Jesus, you make one unreasonable demand involving her sister and a goat and you have to pay for it forever.
Fans of Family Guy can now get their hands on a fun talking bottle opener shaped like Stewie Griffin. For $27, you can hear him say 5 different phrases while opening your brew:
You will bow to me!
I’ve been a bawdy little monkey!
Who the hell do you think you are?
The outrages I have suffered today will not be soon forgotten.
Thank you! When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.
First Hulk suffered the indignity of being the subject of the latest Operation game. Now he’s being treated like some phone groping freak. Hulk deserves to be treated better then this, if for no other reason than the fact that he can rip your arms out of their sockets.
Can you believe no one bid at $1.50?
Just flip the switch, and this desktop device will project a Bat-Signal an impressive 16 feet! Now one geek can summon another geek, while trying to summon Batman, who will NEVER come.
It’s powered by a plug-in, UL adapter and two ultra-bright bulbs, also includes a fan to keep it cool and a swivel feature enabling the Bat-Signal to pan across the room.
It can be yours for the ridiculous price of $309.
The Moonwalk lamp by Thomas De Lussac, is made of lacquered aluminum and available in several colors. Soon an army of them will be on the march, like a million little men that just had a bright idea.
They certainly make a statement. And that statement is, “I’m scared!”
I first found out about this thing when my wife very innocently asked if she could photocopy my head. She said it was for some sort of art project. Hell, when she’s busy she’s quiet. That leaves me free to get my fill of porn and talk to some hot nerd chicks online. So I was game.
Next thing I know she’s got my face on a wood head. I asked what the slots on top were for and to my horror, she showed me. I don’t remember much after the first kick to the balls, but I woke up soon after tied, and gagged with a nintendo wiimote duct taped to my mouth.
Needless to say, I’m very on edge.
|
|
|
|
