Archive for the 'Surgery' Category

Word is that Naomi Campbell had some kind of surgery in order to make it possible for her to have kids. She won’t say what type of surgery she had or give any details about her condition, but says now she can become a mother.

I’m guessing she had her secret, but long, weiner chopped off and turned into a vajayjay. Yep everything should be alright now. And she won’t have those unsightly balls that need scratching anymore. I’m looking forward to her book, From Penis To Vajayjay: One Woman’s Journey.

[Celebpulp]

Celebrities get way too much plastic surgery. But why do they choose that nose, or those cheekbones? How would you make them look hotter? DestinationCreation.com performed virtual plastic surgery on the likes of Fergie, Paris Hilton, Jaz Z, Marc Anthony, Amy Winehouse and even Rowan Atkinson aka Mr. Bean.

[destinationcreation]

Ever wonder what celebs would look like without plastic surgery? The Xiomara Coronado Beauty Center wants you to know that without it, you are gonna look fugly. To illustrate their point, they created some images of famous celebrities and what they would look like without operations.

Shakira, Paris Hilton & Angelina Jolie. Oddly, they look like they belong in a zombie trailer park, smoking 3 packs of camels a day. Check out another below.
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I thought Joan Rivers already had that job. Jesus, that one is starting to look like one of the Nazis that didn’t look away from the Ark of the Covenant when Indy warned everybody to keep their eyes shut.

Anyway, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a certified plastic surgeon, wrote a children’s book/ horror story called “My Beautiful Mommy” that explains to kids about their mommy’s new body parts. Isn’t that adorable? Newsweek reports:

Salzhauer got the idea for a book after noticing that women were coming into his office with their kids in tow. He says that mysterious doctor’s visits can be frightening for children. “Parents generally tend to go into this denial thing. They just try to ignore the kids’ questions completely.” But, he adds, children “fill in the blanks in their imagination” and then feel worse when they see “mommy with bandages,” he says. “With the tummy tucks, [the mothers] can’t lift anything. They’re in bed. The kids have questions.”

Questions like:

Mommy, why are your boobs all lopsided and hard?

Mommy, why are you leaking silicon again?

Mommy, why do you smell like formaldehyde and vodka?

All good questions. Kid’s are smart.

[Thesuperficial]

Johnny Knoxville, our favorite jackass(Well, next to me.) nearly lost his testicles when a “Jackass” stunt went wrong.

He was rushed to a hospital after he attempted to do a back flip on a motorcycle.

Knoxville’s blog:

“I’ve just got back from Oklahoma where I was shooting ‘Mat Hoffman’s tribute to Evel Knievel.’ I had a ball, too, even though I almost lost my own balls in the process.”

“I don’t want to give too much away because it doesn’t air until February 23, but let’s just say before I did a back-flip on a motorcycle I should have learned how to ride one first.”

“I have to go now. I have to empty the piss bag on my leg that I have to wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals.”

Well, Knoxville was voted most likely to lose his balls, whether by wrecking ball, motorcycle or assorted wildlife.

Check out his pants here, the groin area all covered in blood.

[Jackassworld]

It looks like Jacko has had another dose of surgery in his attempt to become a full fledged freaky alien. Once again his face was covered in bandages this past weekend.

I’m not sure what it is with this family, but for some reason they seem to want to look more like the typical “greys” of Alien lore. Jacko’s sister Latoya has the perfect “grey” nose. Basically no nose at all.

Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that the Jackson clan is responsible for all the alien abductions that ever occurred. Some UFOlogists have put together a chilling timeline, linking alien abductions to Jackson family surgeries. They seem to increase in frequency as the Jacksons lose human characteristics.

I can’t wait to see what he looks like once the bandages come off. It’s all wild speculation as to who he’ll abduct next and what experiments will take place, but it always ends with you put back in bed to the tune of “Billie Jean is Not My Lover” and having missing time.

Jacko just grabs his crotch and takes off in his million dollar spaceship.

[AOL]