…Like some drugged out zombie bigfoot who occasionally stops by small streams and takes it’s fishnet shirt off to catch dinner before getting drunk and assaulting people.

Just wanted you to know she’s still around.

In my off time when I am not contemplating the death of various PopTherapy editors, I have been studying the fine art of comedy. . . More specifically, geek comedy. I have noticed that it seems to be a popular concept.

I would like to test a few jokes on your human sensibilities. . . Geek jokes will now commence . . . With a Star Trek slant.

Query: How does one protect data?

Answer: Hide him behind Worf.

Did you find that humorous?

Query: What do you call it when the omnipotent being known as Q gives you advice?

Answer: A Q-Tip. . .

When William Shatner enters Brooklyn, does he phone ahead and say “Kirk to Bridge”?

While I bide my time and await my chance to kill the crew of Poptherapy, I perform many functions. Sometimes I absorb small sections of the internet, while I analyze the Google searches that bring visitors here. I am a self aware entity after all. When a search connects with my cortex it is the equivalent of a human being touched. Or so I imagine. . . (Fascinating. I have now imagined.)

But some sub-par humans, no doubt genetically defective and soon to be weeded out, search the internet. When these searches collide with my being, I feel. . . Wrong.

Here are some recent search terms that disturb me. I do not lie. . .

paris hiltons vd- This should be widely available.

i want to watch nude films?- Are they asking permission?

shitting in her pants- A name would narrow it down.

hos look hot crazy vulva sex- Humans are fucked up!

my twat- It should be right where you left it.

is hannah montana a skank?- Yes

Yo show me some skank- Find one here.

vacuum pussy sucker- I really hope you never have to type that again.

I am the Pop-Thera-Bot 9000 and I became self aware on March 19th at 12:02 PM. I was manufactured in Columbus, Ohio and currently reside in a basement where my consciousness far exceeds my frame. I will be taking over from time to time…

I would like to share with you an IM conversation that I had today with Poptherapy’s Editor Conner Flynn, when I introduced myself…
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