Gisele Bundchen and her sweet ass are both featured on the cover of the latest V Magazine.

While the photos of the super model catch people’s attention, she was focused on Miley Cyrus posing naked for Vanity Fair.

Here’s what Gisele and her sweet ass had to say:

Can you believe this is news? It’s ridiculous. And the politicians aren’t going to create any laws about this [kind of media saturation]. They’re very happy with it. They can go around doing what they want and no one cares because we’re more concerned about some 15-year-old girl holding a sheet in a picture.

No one cares about what [the politicians are] screwing up, or how much money is being lost.

I don’t know what she’s saying, but I like the way she shows her ass while saying it.

Yeah that’s real nice. My cat does that. She don’t know to wipe her ass with toilet paper either after taking a dump. That’s probably why my carpet looks all striped and skidmarked.

Kim Kardashian’s ass has gets more attention then Captain Kirk at a nerd gathering. This here pic should settle the debate once and for all.

That’s a big ass!

I mean, I knew it was big. I just figured she had a buttpad. That ass is so big, a dingleberry falling from it could harm small animals. That ass is so big, there’s a good chance you could strike oil with the first thrust. That ass is so big, every couch she sits on turns into bucket seats. If she gets double teamed, it’s like a two car garage.

Damn, that ass is big!

You know, I’m starting to believe that Kim really does use a buttpad to make her ass look big. I’ve seen her sex tape, watched the show and I’ve seen her ass from every angle possible in my fantasies and I’m telling you, that ain’t her real ass.

That thing is like carrying your own high-chair with you. She must be like 6 feet tall while sitting. That thing could protect the freakin Mars Rover.

I have a thing for Penelope Cruz. Unfortunately security never lets me get that thing anywhere near her. Probably has something to do with an incident that happened about a year ago, when I was in the John taking care of some urges, having seen her on set. I swear I had no idea it was part of the set. They coulda said something before getting a half hour’s worth of video. They probably sold the footage to some third world country, as educational or something. I tried to convince them that I knew they were there all along and was performing a new Got Milk concept ad. Hey whatever.

Here she is on the set of her latest movie, co-starring her ass cheeks.

[Drunkenstepfather]

Need I say more?

Not the planet. These chocolates are shaped like anuses. I almost didn’t share this one because it’s just so nasty and also juvenile. But since you know me so well, you knew I had to share this. Plus, I know that some of you have always wished there were some sort of choco-anus you could lick and suck. Hey, I’m not judging you. I have a blowup doll of Bea Arthur in my closet, wearing a swarovski studded girdle.

Here it is, the Incredible Edible Anus. You heard correct. Or as I like to call them, butthole bon bons. You can order a box of 12 or a single 35mm x 25mm x 25mm ‘Big Boy’ for about $6. And for a limited time you can get one made out of pure silver for about $470!

Eat up!

[Edibleanus]

Hope she picked a winner!

The gay community seems to love this freakish former First Daughter. Chelsea Clinton made the rounds at several bars in Philadelphia where her ass was introduced to the City of Brotherly Love.

“Led around the neighborhood by Gov. Ed Rendell, Chelsea was mobbed by local gays and lesbians, as she walked from one club to the next. They ran up to hug her, posed for pictures and certainly invaded her personal space.

‘I grabbed her ass,’ one young woman exclaimed to her friends after snapping a picture with her arm around the former first daughter.

‘Chelsea, the gays love you!’ one fan exclaimed, as she took the microphone at Bump, a restaurant and bar that was her first stop. ‘Oh, gosh, I don’t know if everybody loves me,’ she responded.”

I’m trying to confirm some reports that the same thing happened at a local PetSmart… Damn, that face has more buttah then the English Muffin I had this morning.

[Damnimcute]