Everyone knows the classic carnival game Whac-a-Mole but how about an update? Whac-a-Butt.. A thonged butt.

The only better would be whacking a butt and having poopy come out. Yeah, I’m nasty.

[Nerd Approved]

“Maam. Are you smuggling anything?”

Ever wanted to open a beer bottle with your ass crack? Or with someone else’s? Sadly it only leads to a torn rectum, with none of the fun usually associated with torn rectums. The Crack It Open wall mounted ass bottle opener will give you a rectum to open your beer. Isn’t that much better then a hospital visit?

[Nerd Approved]

And the above pic is all you need to know about it.

JLo didn’t let it all hang out in the Triathlon. Instead she kept it all packed in. Tight. In a dumpy looking wet suit. Word is some whales tried to mate with her ass, but the only thing it sang back was a strong bean fart smell so they went after other game.

The Laura’s Weight Loss site is using Kim Kardashian’s image on their site to promote some weight loss program? What is the program? Taking every inch of fat and jamming it in your dumper? I guess the regiment is to rest your ass on the couch, eat chocolate and ice cream and grow as if somebody’s shoving phone books under you.

As usual, we have a celebrity bikini pic complete with some douchebag. She’s got a nice ass. That’s one round, voluptuous piece of ass. The horizontal stripes really bring out the perfect trench that is her crack. I’d like to thank God for mixing and matching genes and evolving the species. It all culminates in this fine ass.

Olympic volleyball player and show-er off-er of tight ass, Kerri Walsh, is now showing off her back entrance to help fight against AIDS. I’m not sure I’m getting the right message here. Is it safe in the back door? Or does she have some magic crack that drips antibodies in her hole, thereby making her ass super immune to the disease? And if so, is this her way of offering it up to everyone?

“I love that I’m curvy, but I’m on this major kick to try and lose weight, especially in my butt,” the reality TV star and really rich individual told Radar magazine. “I’m just so over it! When you’re posing on the red carpet and the paparazzi shout, ‘Turn around! Turn around!’ — it gets a little offensive.”

Never fear. If she gets rid of her huge ass, we’ll talk about her tits.

Gisele Bundchen and her sweet ass are both featured on the cover of the latest V Magazine.

While the photos of the super model catch people’s attention, she was focused on Miley Cyrus posing naked for Vanity Fair.

Here’s what Gisele and her sweet ass had to say:

Can you believe this is news? It’s ridiculous. And the politicians aren’t going to create any laws about this [kind of media saturation]. They’re very happy with it. They can go around doing what they want and no one cares because we’re more concerned about some 15-year-old girl holding a sheet in a picture.

No one cares about what [the politicians are] screwing up, or how much money is being lost.

I don’t know what she’s saying, but I like the way she shows her ass while saying it.