This grown nerd trained his one-year-old daughter to name a bunch of videogame icons. It’s pretty impressive and pretty sad that such energy isn’t put into actually educating her on say the alphabet. Anyhow, this little girl will grow up to beat men’s asses in video games, while looking at picture books with strange symbols on the pages.

[Gonintendo]

I guess “Monday-My mom’s a milf-my dads a country star-I’ll need therapy-Kidman” was taken.

The couple and their new baby are said to be doing well despite the drunken naming party.

Is Paris..
A. Getting fat?

B. Modeling her new line of maternity ware?

C. Showing off her new belly mutation because the primordial soup of guy spunk in her stomach decided it wants to evolve?

Is Jamie Lynn going to have her baby girl today? I have no idea. All these hos having other future hos is too freakin much. One ho begets another ho, who grows up and strips and has another ho who has a failed career and is easy to bang and so begets another ho. The endless circle of skank life.

Word is that Naomi Campbell had some kind of surgery in order to make it possible for her to have kids. She won’t say what type of surgery she had or give any details about her condition, but says now she can become a mother.

I’m guessing she had her secret, but long, weiner chopped off and turned into a vajayjay. Yep everything should be alright now. And she won’t have those unsightly balls that need scratching anymore. I’m looking forward to her book, From Penis To Vajayjay: One Woman’s Journey.

[Celebpulp]

Jessica alba has given birth to many erections, now she’s creating new life in the form of a baby girl. It’s the first child for her and husband Cash Warren, before an impending divorce and several re-marriages. I only hope she can fit me in there somewhere for some hot milf sex.

[Thesuperficial]

This just in. Clay Aiken will soon be a father. No matter what the sex of the baby, he will be raising a girl. One that also looks like a Barry Manillow puppet.

[Celebpulp]

Recent pictures of 2-year-old Suri Cruise, spawn of Tom and Kate, still using a bottle made some question Tom and Katie’s parenting skills. But maybe it’s Scientology’s fault.

According to Defamer, L. Ron Hubbard ordered Scientologist moms to feed their children a mixture of barley water, homogenized milk, and lots of honey, which is a recipe he obtained during time travel to ancient Rome. Some say the cocktail can be toxic.

I say get all babies away from Scientologists as quick as humanly possible. But as far as their formula being toxic, I think it might surprise many people to know just how toxic most mainstream baby formula is as well. And I’m not just saying that so I can see moms breastfeeding. Okay, I am. I walk around the mall to get my fix of milfs handing out liquid lunch. So what?

[Defamer]

Hot on the heels of the Lisa Marie fat pictures, we now learn that she is having a baby. And no, it’s not all baby weight, unless the baby was in it’s 24th month.

She is expecting a child in the fall with her fourth husband, People magazine reported Thursday. It quoted her spokesman as saying they were “incredibly overjoyed.”

[AOL]

Here’s a real class act, if this is true. Jamie Lynn Spears shocked some boy during a party by asking him for sex. She put the moves on and made a good argument:

“It’s cool, I’m pregnant. I can’t get pregnant again!”

Frankly, I’m surprised she realizes that.

A friend from her hometown said:

“I know for a fact that Casey [Aldridge, reportedly her baby daddy] was not the first guy she slept with — or the last. There were at least two others. I know that 110 percent.”

“Some people drink to have a good time. But she drank to get wrecked. She drank to get messed up and forget about her mother, her sister and all of that.”

Damn. I drink to forget about the Spears clan too! Especially with pics like the one above. She’s dressed like some kind of bizarre crayola turtle.

[Damnimcute]