Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan in Malibu yesterday looking for her shadow. Looks like they’ll be six more weeks of the show.

I have seen that ass in my dreams. That tight body. Jessica Alba’s pretty sweet too… Oh Gaudalupe, cheap mexican help to the stars, please say you’ll be mine and let me caress the folds of that gargantuan leg….

Holy shit! Jessica Alba ass. This really is just like in my dreams, except in my dreams she’s hiding my salami instead of hiding a baby from the camera.

Here’s the ultra sexy Megan fox in a bikini from the latest edition of GQ. As an added bonus, she’s sucking on something that doesn’t belong to you.

I’m really proud of Megan Fox. She has that stripper quality where you know she could work the pole, but she can also shift gears and just look Super hot and smoking in a non-whore way too. She’s the kind of girl HT^%U& !@_&^$ Fuck! I just soiled myself. Involuntary ejaculation. Had no idea what my other hand was doing. I see Megan Fox and I’m on autopilot.

Anyhow she talks about how, at 18, she dated a female stripper named Nikita.

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided — oh man, sorry, mommy! — that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” said Fox. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.

I have no idea who this chick is, but she’s all over the internet today looking hot in a bikini, while looking somewhat retarded in the face.

I have a thing for Christina Ricci. She’s so damn cute. I asked for an autograph once and she kicked me in my nuts. I think that’s when I fell for her. Hard-on and ball pain at the same time is an odd thing. I felt like we were married.

As usual, we have a celebrity bikini pic complete with some douchebag. She’s got a nice ass. That’s one round, voluptuous piece of ass. The horizontal stripes really bring out the perfect trench that is her crack. I’d like to thank God for mixing and matching genes and evolving the species. It all culminates in this fine ass.

Apparently Shauna thinks nothing about wearing stripper shoes to the beach during a family outing. Many a lap dance was had, paid for with sand dollars.

Ok, this is weird. Not what I expected at all. She celebrated her 19th birthday by wearing a dunce cap and a “Rockstar” chain. Yeah, I’m a little disappointed. I just expected her to be hotter. Of course it could be that I need another viagra. I’ve needed the magic pill ever since I saw a naked pic of Amy Winehouse that wrecked my dick forever.

Sweet fucking Heroes show! Aside from needing a boob transfusion, she’s looking pretty hot.

British model and actress Kelly Brook decided to celebrate her recent split from Billy Zane by showing off her goods in Saint-Tropez wearing a bikini. Not sure if she’s had any offers yet, but anything has to beat the bald headed Billy Zane. What’s up with that anyway? Is there a Kojak remake I didn’t know about?