You’re with a girl who is wearing regular clothes. How on Earth are you going to get her into a bikini? Or maybe you are on vacation and you forgot to pack a swimsuit. That usually ends in buying a crappy pair that doesn’t fit right.

Worry no more. Quicksilver’s swimsuit vending machines will make sure that you can always flaunt your stuff at the beach. That is, if you are staying at The Standard in either L.A., Hollywood, New York, or Miami.

Thank you Quicksilver for helping to get women out of everyday clothes and show off what they have. Swimsuits for everyone.

[Albotas]

Victoria’s Secret Angel Marisa Miller did a bikini photo-shoot for the latest issue of Complex magazine. Does this make you say OMG like a little schoolgirl? Wait until you see the video of the shoot below.
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Check out Faith Hill on the cover of Shape. She’s married to some country singing hillbilly. No, not Miley Cyrus’ dad. I’m pretty sure he’s married to another dude. Anyway, she’s got a rocking body that’s been airbrushed more then a fucking velvet elvis in a Graceland gift shop.

JESUS! I can’t decide if she’s looking better then she used to or not. I mean I’d still do her, but I’d do anything. Let’s analyze this pic:

First off, one tit seems to be longer then the other. Her fucking abdomen is melting like the wicked witch from Oz. And it seems she has so much cameltoe that her bikini is vacuum sealed against her lips taking a plaster cast.

Tennis star Serena Williams went surfing yesterday in Hawaii with her rapper boyfriend Common. Common obviously likes women who look like men. Seriously how do you bring yourself to bang that? You’d need 2 bottles of Nyquil and a joint just to get in bed at night. Some people need to be forced to wear clothes.

Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan in Malibu yesterday looking for her shadow. Looks like they’ll be six more weeks of the show.

I have seen that ass in my dreams. That tight body. Jessica Alba’s pretty sweet too… Oh Gaudalupe, cheap mexican help to the stars, please say you’ll be mine and let me caress the folds of that gargantuan leg….

Holy shit! Jessica Alba ass. This really is just like in my dreams, except in my dreams she’s hiding my salami instead of hiding a baby from the camera.

Here’s the ultra sexy Megan fox in a bikini from the latest edition of GQ. As an added bonus, she’s sucking on something that doesn’t belong to you.

I’m really proud of Megan Fox. She has that stripper quality where you know she could work the pole, but she can also shift gears and just look Super hot and smoking in a non-whore way too. She’s the kind of girl HT^%U& !@_&^$ Fuck! I just soiled myself. Involuntary ejaculation. Had no idea what my other hand was doing. I see Megan Fox and I’m on autopilot.

Anyhow she talks about how, at 18, she dated a female stripper named Nikita.

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided — oh man, sorry, mommy! — that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” said Fox. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.

I have no idea who this chick is, but she’s all over the internet today looking hot in a bikini, while looking somewhat retarded in the face.

I have a thing for Christina Ricci. She’s so damn cute. I asked for an autograph once and she kicked me in my nuts. I think that’s when I fell for her. Hard-on and ball pain at the same time is an odd thing. I felt like we were married.