Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are all set to walk down the aisle and adopt another baby soon. You know, rather then wrecking her vagina again and pushing one out. It’s on a magazine cover. It must be true. Ok reports:

“Angelina has always toyed with the idea of getting married to Brad. She’s always followed her gut instincts in life, love and family. As the kids get older and they add to their brood, they want to make as few complications as possible.”

When not banging Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt moonlights as a hero. While at the Venice Film Festival, Brad Pitt saved a fan from falling into a lake. He agreed to sign autographs for a group of young fans on a boat on Wednesday but one teenager slipped and fell into the water. Pitt quickly grabbed the fan and ensured he was safely back on the boat before signing a book.

Angelina Jolie sat down with Entertainment Weekly and talked about her new movies Wanted and Changeling. She also started talking about her sex life while pregnant. Big surprise.

It’s great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you’re just so round and full.

Great fun, poking an infant in the head with Brad Pitt’s wang. Oh yeah, I’m sure the kid will thank you while he struggles with constant headaches and a lifelong fear of taking meat to the face. Real nice!

Mad, our 6-year-old, draws lots of war scenarios,” she explains. ”He’s all into war and guns. So for Mother’s Day he drew a machine gun, and Brad had it made into a necklace, which is really sweet. It’s really cute. I think it’s really good!”

Oh, that’s real good. This one must have walked in on the fetus humping, sees the Brad gun firing off a few rounds and now he’s got a thing for machine guns. Cute. Nice to see the Addams family in it’s early stages here.

[EW]

Sometimes you just want to kick a celeb in their ass. Yeah, Brad has plenty of dough, but don’t be an ass about it. With all this Charity work that he and Angelina do, you’d think he would know better. As far as I’m cocerned, it’s stupid for ANYBODY to spend that much on a table. But when you are a star, you have power and responsibility. That 300K could have been spent on any number of things that will make the world better. It could have been spent to keep your wife hot looking forever so I can get my rocks off well into 2050.

WTF Brad? He bought it at a “design art” furniture sale in Switzerland. It’s a hollow marble table built by Jeroen Verhoeven, and it cost Pitt $293,000. The four-foot ‘Cinderella table’ was one of six in the collection, and was hewn from a solid block of Carrara marble.(Makes fart noise and jerk off motion with hand.)

I’m very disappointed Brad. But I still want to bang your wife if we are still on for next Tuesday.

[AOL]

According to sources, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twin baby photos have sparked a bidding war between People and OK! magazines.

A rep for People says, “We’d love to see the photos in People. We wish the family well.”

OK! says of course they want the pics and it’d be foolish not to try, but they’re not giving a dollar amount.

I’d like to make an offer to see the twins as well. I’ll pay $10. Out of the bra, no pasties. $20 if I can touch.

[Celebpulp]

Brad Pitt has now vowed not to film any more nude scenes because he doesn’t want his kids to see them. Hey Brad, my eyes thank you. I don’t want to see it either. But I know this news dashes the hopes of many lonely many women fans out there.

“I don’t want to be embarrassed when my kids get old enough to see my films,” Pitt told the BBC in an interview that aired Tuesday. “I can’t see any more nude scenes [in my career.]“

Thank God. Now if we can get Harvey Keitel to stop showing his ass in every film he stars in I’ll be a happy camper.

[People]

Brad Pitt it seems, is more then just a pretty boy. Apparently, he is a true gentleman.

Case in point: The European premiere of Agelina’s new film Beowulf on Sunday. Angelina’s leather pants split in the back, threatening to expose some Angelina Jolie Heiney. Brad rushed to her rescue, covering the exposed area with his hand.

It seems that it wasn’t her night. She also stepped in a piece of chewing gum which stuck itself to the heel of her $1,200 Christian Louboutin stilettos.

I’m sure she got over it. Kudoos to Brad. Chivalry is not dead in Hollywood after all. He apparently knows just how lucky he is to have a beautiful woman and a great career.

Here’s to you pretty boy. (He’ll probably do something really horrible now that I’ve praised him. He’s in the biz after all.)

[Rumorficial]