Furniture To Die On: Coffin Couches
April 29th, 2008

Coffin Couches
Let’s face it, many of us are going to die on the couch watching South Park and the like. Especially the obese, which is how they got so obese…By not moving. So, it’s about damn time somebody combined the couch and the coffin.

These Coffin Couches are made of genuine recycled coffins. Perfect for that Funeral home look. Your sad carcass provides the corpse.

[Coffincouches]

Charlton Heston Dies
April 6th, 2008

Charlton Heston Dies
The world lost another acting legend on Saturday night. Charlton Heston was 84. He won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing “Ben-Hur” and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and a ton of other characters on the big screen. Including one of my personal favorites, Planet Of The Apes.

His larger then life personality will be missed.

[AOL]

Construction Worker Found Dead On Mel Gibson’s Property
March 20th, 2008

Construction Worker Found Dead On Mel Gibson’s PropertyA man believed to be a construction worker was found dead at one of Mel Gibson’s properties. Apparently the guy committed suicide.

Wait for it…

According to his girlfriend, it was the only commitment he ever made.

The 48-year-old was found hanging from a rafter of a home under heavy construction in Agoura Hills, about 35 miles east of Los Angeles. The body was found by the foreman.

Gibson feels “terrible”. And well he should. For Bird on a Wire at the very least.

TMZ reported that the man had done construction work on movie sets in the past, like “The Matrix Reloaded” and “Karate Kid 2.”

Wait. Karate Kid 2? Ouch! Yeah, that’s gotta haunt you for some time and really twist up your insides. I haven’t seen that much steaming crap onscreen since Rosie O’Donnell left the View.

He’s at peace now….While Ralph Macchio walks among us.

I shake my fist at you Ralph Macchio…

[AOL]

Arthur C Clarke Is No Longer With Us…
March 18th, 2008

Arthur C Clarke
It’s a sad day….We’ve lost one of the most brilliant minds not only in science fiction, but outside of Science Fiction as well, Arthur C Clarke.

He was one of my heroes. To many he will forever be the writer that worked with Stanley Kubrick in creating the science fiction Masterpiece 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. In fact, he was much more then that.

He was a true master, writing masterpieces like RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA or CHILDHOOD’S END as well as 4 books in the 2001 saga. He was also responsible for the advent of the telecommunications satellite Arthur moved to Sri Lanka in the 1950s where he spent the rest of his life.

What he left was an enduring legacy of wonder and exploration, not only of the physical universe, but our place in it. Whatever waits for us in the great beyond, you can be sure that Arthur is enriching and enboldening it.

Who knows, now that he is one with the cosmos, he may just make like the monolith and remain ever watchful as we go about our very small business.

ABBA Drummer Found Dead In Garden
March 17th, 2008

ABBA Drummer Found Dead
In what looks like some sort of freak accident, a former drummer for the Swedish pop band ABBA was found dead with cuts to his neck in the garden of his house on the Spanish island of Mallorca. According to Police, an autopsy showed it was an accident.

The body of 62-year-old Ola Brunkert was found by a neighbor on Sunday at his house in a coastal area outside the eastern town of Arta.

Just proves one of my many theories. Bizarre band=a bizarre death or two.

They also did an autopsy on the song Dancing Queen and found that it still had legs.

[AOL]

“Jaws” Star Roy Scheider Dies at 75
February 11th, 2008

“Jaws” Star Roy Scheider Dies at 75
Roy Scheider, a one-time boxer(in case you didn’t know why his nose looked a bit odd) and star of films like The French Connection, Jaws, Blue Thunder and 2010 to name a few, died at the age of 75.

Scheider died Sunday at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences hospital in Little Rock. There is conflicting information regarding the cause of death, but he had been sick in recent years.

He was alot like Jimmy Stewart in the sense that he was an everyman and no matter what role he played he was instantly likable. He is going to be missed for sure.

[AOL]

Heath Ledger’s masseuse calls Mary-Kate Olsen instead of 911
January 24th, 2008

Heath Ledger’s masseuse calls Mary-Kate Olsen instead of 911
We have strayed away from coverage of Heath Ledger’s death here at Poptherapy simply because others are covering it and we know you come here for stuff you can’t find elsewhere. Well, here’s a Heath Ledger related story that boggles the mind.

Apparently, genius that she is, the masseuse who found Heath Ledger’s body called Mary-Kate Olsen, who was a friend of Ledger’s BEFORE calling 911.

Because we all know that the Olsen twin powers can raise the dead, right?

“Heath is unconscious, I don’t know what to do!” Diane Lee Wolozin screamed to Olsen during her first phone call to her.

A few minutes later she apparently realizes that he is really dead and she calls Olsen AGAIN. (I would have loved to have heard that conversation.)

Super genius and reject of the human genome project that she is, the masseuse then calls 911.(Probably believing that she is talking with someone from one of the two large buildings that collapsed on that date.)

So, if this story is true, it seems clear that idiots everywhere are the right hand of the Grim Reaper, keeping them good and dead until he can collect the soul.

I have a good mind to call Mary-Kate Olsen myself, but I’m saving that for a natural disaster or car accident.

[Damnimcute]

Celebrity Death Polls: When Will Spears and Winehouse Die?
January 23rd, 2008

Celebrity Death Polls
It’s a morbid question, but reasonable to ask. As a celebrity’s bad behavior escalates, so do the odds that they will exit this world in some bizarre fashion of their own making.

In other words, a coked up skank or beaver-flashing pop princess is bound to go down the wrong path and complete their downward spiral in a dramatic way.

Thanks to a website, if you can guess their demise, you will win a PS3 or an Ipod. The web site is called Mr or Mrs Death, and has more than 25,000 participants.

Pretty morbid to think that you can win cool stuff just because the Grim Reaper comes for some famous loser. Then again, it’s their own bad behavior.

Me, I’m betting on some other stuff.

For instance, in 2009 Paris will be knocked up by an entire nightclub. Paternity testing will reveal that they are all in fact the father. Maury Povich will out the fathers on TV. This child, endowed with it’s multi-father genes, will spend it’s whole life trying to crawl back in her hole, thereby recreating the night of it’s conception. It will have to be put down one starry Hollywood night by sharp shooters when it becomes clear that it’s bogarting of Paris’ twat has shifted the balance of power in the town.

I might be a little off on the date…

[Whenwillamywinehousedie] & [Whenisbritneygoingtodie]

Paris Hilton on ice
October 19th, 2007

Paris wants to be crygenically frozen with pets upon death.Will the antics never stop? Every time you think you’ve heard it all, something new spews from the mouth of another random celebri-tard. Aspiring anatomy skeleton and anorexia spokes-stick Paris Hilton is leaking air again.

What’s she up to now? Apparently, she is getting all deep and philosophical, thinking about life and death in addition to looking for random objects to label “hot”, between the firing of synapses. According to a celebrity-mania.com article, Paris wants to be frozen with her pets upon death. She’s reportedly invested large dollar amounts into the world’s biggest suspended animation cemetery, Cryonics Institute.

I’m not buying it for a few reasons. A)She can not know what the hell that means. B) or how to spell it. C)It’s not a random object and it can’t bang her.

It’s cute really. Our little Princess is growing up. She’s just full of ideas. She wants to be revived in the future, with her famous Chihuahua Tinkerbell and her other hairless minions. She gets really
deep:

“It’s so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.”

Definitely am not buying it. No way in hell did she string all those words together. Babe, you are already gonna live forever. You banged a guy on tape!

Now can you please go back to sucking in oxygen and expelling your catch phrase?

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