The former number-one girlfriend of the Playboy founder confirmed her break up with Hef this week, simply telling celebrity gossip blog TMZ: “Hef and I aren’t together.”

Truth is that old man sex is fucking nasty. It’s like when you walk in on your grandparents fucking, but your grandmother happens to be the lovely Holly Madison riding and grinding against shriveled prunes that drag against the bed and every once in a while your grandfather actually moves despite the risk of a stroke, always allowing the Grim Reapers Scythe to just miss, because he’s right there watching this horror and doing his best to end it.

I’ll try to keep this brief lest I taste my own vomit thanks to yet another Heather Mills photo. The gold digger’s picture below, was taken by top fashion photographer Tony McGee in 1999, and was originally meant to promote Mills’ anti-landmine charity. She didn’t publish it at the time because she feared McCartney’s view of her might change if it were released. Now that she’s got the money, she doesn’t give a toss.

She’s got 2 boobs and a stump, and by god she’s gonna show em. Pic below.
(more…)

What is the deal with 80’s TV has-been Gary Coleman? First his pants were selling on Ebay for way too much, now he’s married some gold-digger by the name of Shannon Price. He’s 40, she’s 22.

It gets better! The pair have only known each other about five months. It gets EVEN better! Gary told Inside Edition that this is his first-time-ever romantic relationship.(Well, somehow that is expected. Welcome to Virgin Galactic.)

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Coleman. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

First off, if I were a gold-digger marrying a midget for money, I’d hide my shame by mountaintop too. Secondly, I hope they weren’t taking pictures from the helicopter, as it would resemble an ant marrying a stickbug.

Here’s the punchline. Price apparently handles the sale of Coleman’s memorabilia on e-Bay, and claims that when she met him on the set of the movie Church Ball she wasn’t aware of his fame.

I want to see this on reality TV NOW. I mean, Coleman needs a ladder just to kiss her ass. And it won’t take her long to tire of the taste of Mr. Drummond in his mouth either. Train wreck.

[Celebritygossip]