Get revenge for all the times these bastards have probed you. That’s probably why you have the anal leakage and an unhealthy fear of going to bed at night.

Don’t set another drink down on your side table again, when you can have this cool new Alien Butler Sculpture ($70) hold it for you. This out-of-this-world resin sculpture looks just like an alien visitor straight out of Roswell and he is most eager to be your humble servant. It’s a fun decorative touch for all those who still believe and his tray can hold everything from drinks, coins and keys to Reese’s Pieces. You had better keep an eye on this little guy though, he may not have come in peace.

[thegreenhead]

Reproduce the action from that fateful day in 1947 when an alien ship(supposedly) crashed in Roswell New Mexico. In your garden or on your lawn. That’s right, you can have a miniature alien scene in your garden with no fear whatsoever of anal probing and bleeding from any other orifice. The men in Black will be at your door in no time. You may even get a visit from Mulder and Scully. But I can’t stress this enough…From my vast experience with UFO lore, this SHOULD keep your precious rectum virginity intact. I’m pretty sure.

[Nerd Approved]