Madonna is so into working out and having old man arms that she apparently scheduled sex with Guy Ritchie around her gym visits. The Daily Mail reports:

A source close to the couple told the MailOnline last night: ‘With her time being so precious to her, and with there being more important things to her like spending three of four hours in the gym every day, it become just another thing in the diary. In the last couple of years, it was all schemed into the diary.
‘Guy of course felt this a tremendous turn-off to be at the same level of importance as, for example, her gym sessions and Kabbalah meetings.
‘As a consequence, their sex life died more than a year ago. It is no exaggeration to say that they had not shared a bed in a year when the divorce was announced. And when the sex died for them, the marriage was doomed.’

Sometimes she had a zombie take her place for some stand-in sex. Word is Guy didn’t know the difference, because sometimes Madonna’s parts fall off too. Plus they’re both pretty dry down there and it’s hard to compare scabs when they are all over. All you can really do is have sex and make sure the exorcist at the edge of the bed is ready should she get out of hand.

After months of speculation and rumors the Madonna Guy Ritchie divorce is finally happening, where he will rid himself of her leathery arms,face,tits and ass. According to reports in The Sun a statement regarding the divorce will be released today. Madonna had wanted to wait until her world tour concluded, but the pair are beyond even trying to pretend they are a happy couple. Between his high standards of wanting a real woman and her trailing dead skin everywhere it just didn’t work.