She’s clearly supernatural. Possessing talents like ESP and being completely psychic as well as being a reality TV whore. How else would she know what I wanted in every detail? Now that I know we have a bond and that she watches my dreams, and grants my wishes…I’ll be looking forward to some hot nasty sex tonight where she can Turtle Wax:Triple Shine my balls. I’ll be waiting Deanna.

Sccchhwinnnng! So Cindy Crawford and husband Randy Gerber along with failed bat-turd George Clooney went to France on a yacht. Cindy let her boobs of 42 years old out of their cloth prison and gave me a boner. Then I thought about that mole on her face and lost it. Then I looked again and got a boner. But why is George Clooney there? Gotta be a threesome.

“We’ll give it another two weeks or so,” one tells Fox News via Gawker.com.

Why? Hathaway has been the subject of non-stop celebrity gossip following her recent breakup with scam artist Raffaelo Follieri. So I guess someone wants to cash in.

She’s looking good for her age. Very nice. She pranced around while vacationing in France with husband Rande Gerber. George Clooney was also on board for some reason. His chin may have been steering the boat.

No need to thank me.

My dick is so confused. Here’s Britney looking hot again in a bikini after a long period of being flabby and crabby. Honestly, I’d hit that. Of course after you hit that, you’d have to run because she might shape shift again into her dumpy flabby armed form.

You know, Kate Beckinsale is really stunning when she’s not talking about eating vagina and so forth. She’s featured in the August 2008 issue of California Style.

It’s pretty obvious that Corey Feldman has homosexual feelings for Corey Haim. At least he has a hot beard wife in Susie Feldman. And she’s now nude thanks to PETA.

I’m sure Playboy isn’t happy. Mrs. Corey Feldman is baring it all in the August issue of the magazine (on newsstands Friday!), and I’m sure they wanted to have her exclusively nude.

Gisele Bundchen and her sweet ass are both featured on the cover of the latest V Magazine.

While the photos of the super model catch people’s attention, she was focused on Miley Cyrus posing naked for Vanity Fair.

Here’s what Gisele and her sweet ass had to say:

Can you believe this is news? It’s ridiculous. And the politicians aren’t going to create any laws about this [kind of media saturation]. They’re very happy with it. They can go around doing what they want and no one cares because we’re more concerned about some 15-year-old girl holding a sheet in a picture.

No one cares about what [the politicians are] screwing up, or how much money is being lost.

I don’t know what she’s saying, but I like the way she shows her ass while saying it.

Eva Longoria in a bikini… It’s a good Friday. Thank you God for skimpy bikinis and brave photographers. And now, a poem.

Eva Longoria
I want you to be my whoria
I would do you so long
You would be sore-ira

[Bauer-Griffin]