Many men give their penis a nickname…for some reason. Now, a site lets you register that name to prove it’s as unique as your penis itself. They give you a certificate and everything so it’s all official like. The name of the site is nameyourwang.com!

I’m hoping Engelbert Humperdinck is available.

[Nameyourwang]

Marry Our Daughter is a website that’s been getting lots of press lately. It’s where hillbillys parents post their daughters and ask for proposals. There’s a short paragraph explaining the girl, and then the cost of the marriage. Prices can range from $20,000-$50,000 but I found a few real bargains that have some defects. Missing a few teeth, an extra toe, that kind of thing. Here’s a testimonial:

Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!

Listen, this is why rednecks and computers don’t mix. “Cletus, get over here. I gots an idear. Our little Louann has to be worth at least a case of bud and a dental visit. Hot damn! It’s corn fritters tonight!”

[Marryourdaughter]

Tanya Devereaux claims she’ll do every virgin that takes an oath of internet neutrality.

I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet. Certain ISP’s are planning to limit internet access in a way that infringes upon internet freedom or ‘net neutrality’. Description of Services The services consist of Tania performing sexual intercourse with the applicant, the form and style of the performance will be discussed prior to the act, Tania tries to allow as much freedom as possible in this area but she does reserve the right to decline suggestions. Tania covers all her personal expenses, including travel. Any sort of recording (video, audio or photographs) of the performance is allowed for non-commercial use. Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.

I think I could fake the whole virginity thing. So I’m in. Terms of service and a better pic of below.
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