Keeping up with Khloe Kardashian just got a little harder — the reality princess is heading to the jail and it’s not for being the chubby and fugly sister.

Khloe must surrender to authorities on Friday and serve up to 30 days in jail for violating her probation after a 2007 DUI arrest. She’ll also have to enroll in an alcohol program.

What the hell is she drinking for? It’s the guy that wants to bang her that needs to drink. Well, drink and bring a double ply bag for her face.

Amy Winehouse is not what you would call housebroken, or hotel broken…just broken…

As you might expect, she’s pretty much a pig wherever she’s shacking up, or sicking up…as the case may be.

According to The Sun:

The Sun says, Booze was spilled all over the wooden hallway and cigarette butts, countless bottles of champagne and unwashed knickers were all over the floor. The blackened bath had to be scrubbed and unclogged after she dyed and washed her famous beehive in the tub. She had even taken a large mirror off the wall and placed it on the floor. Staff were baffled why.

I’m not. She obviously wanted to have a look at her man-hole, check it for infections and what not. See if it ate today and that sort of thing. As far as the tub being black, I would believe that it was the result of a normal bath. No hair coloring involved.

I mean, this chick holds more dirt and grime then a swiffer pad at Don Vito’s house.

[Celebrityrumors]

Apparently Amy’s jailbird husband came up with a swell new way to score heroine. Knowing there is a demand for pictures of his monster bride, he’s been trading them for drugs. The inmates who recieve the pics are planning on selling them on ebay feebay.

According to a source: “He’ll [Fielder-Civil] take orders from other inmates then ask Amy to bring in signed photos of herself during visits.”

Ok, what he is doing is bad. But if you had to sleep with Amy Winehouse, you’d have a heroine habit too. Remember, he’s seen her body in a way we have not. *shivers*

I need some crack after this story.

[Damnimcute]