You have to hand it to her, she looks like she gives all of her concentration to the task at hand.

Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian are set to collide in a large talentless black hole that could eat the world. According to a report, she’ll “sing” two of her “songs” - “Come on Over” and “Angels” while accompanied by the professional dancers onstage.

This is more dangerous then that particle accelerator that was going to end the world.

Plus, she’s looking bangable too. I don’t follow that country music bullshit. Mostly because I don’t clean up cowshit, use a tractor as a nutsack vibrator, get drunk and ride mechanical bulls, use a rusted pick-up truck as a weed garden, or eat squirrel at finer dining establishments. So, I’ll just have to take their word for it.

Christ. She looks like a cross dressing rubber doll wearing a tablecloth for a dress! Fuck, she looks like an android from Westworld. This is the first ad with Jessica as the new face of Stampede Light Plus beer. If that’s the face of their beer, I’ll drink my own piss.

They’re obviously trying to go for the Yee-Haw demographic, but even guys who have shotgun racks in their truck and fuck their sister aren’t going to be swayed to drink this crap. Everyone knows that to sell beer, you get in a bikini and wash a damn car or something.

Jessica has thrown more shit at the wall career wise and she’s hoping this one sticks. She is going to be the face of new Dallas’ Stampede Light Plus, according to the Dallas Morning News:

“She’s the face of the brand now,” said Lawrence Schwartz, Stampede’s president and chief executive, who says sales have more than doubled in the past year.
Stampede’s marketing is focused on its vitamin content, which it describes as “functional additives.”
“As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people,” Ms. Simpson said in a statement. “Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while.”

Beer with vitamins? Oh this douchebag is clever. Next he’ll be telling us that fairies fly out of Jessica’s twat and two london school children have photographed the evidence in 1915. And that they time travel and clean the underwear of masturbating boys so their mom doesn’t find out.

PETA advocate Pamela Anderson is so angry about the shirt that Jessica Simpson wore a few weeks ago claiming that “Real Women Eat Meat” that she called her a few names while being interviewed for an Australian radio show:

“I think she is a bitch and whore.

She continued,

“Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.”

It’s funny that the biggest whore around is calling another whore a whore.

Remember this T-shirt? Well PETA didn’t approve:

“Jessica Simpson’s meaty wardrobe malfunction makes us thankful that no one is looking to her for food advice. Chicken-of-the-Sea anyone? The woman who thought that Buffalo ‘Wings’ came from buffalos would benefit from some good veggie brain food.”

So the question is, who is more annoying Jessica or PETA? If Jessica wants to down some guy’s meat, who the hell is PETA to slap it out of her mouth?

Jessica Simpson was spotted at LAX this weekend wearing a T-shirt that reads “Real Girls Eat Meat.” Isn’t that just precious?

Here are a few T-Shirt ideas for her:

Real girls don’t wear T-shirts at all.

Real girls like cheese filled sausage.

Real girls insert meat here.

That’s right, Jessica wants to cover women’s nether-regions with her own brand of lingerie. She should call it Jessica’s secret cuz I’m pretty sure her secret is that she’s a man. You know how it goes, nice body, but her face keeps sales of hefty 2-ply going strong. I’d still do her, I’m just saying… Maybe she can sell some masks that hide strong manly chins, on women.

[Hollywoodgossip]

Jessica Simpson is feeling a ton better after being hospitalized with a kidney infection. As you can see they couldn’t do anything about her somewhat manly bone structure. She can now go back to assaulting our ears full time.

Look at that goofy look on her mouth. Like a sex doll that had a lip repair.

[AOL]