The former sitcom star went on a rant via her website this weekend, taking Angelina Jolie to task for saying she was unsure who to cast her vote for in the upcoming presidential election.

“Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more,” Roseanne wrote.

Regarding the election:

Miss Jolie says she likes [John] McCain too and hasn’t decided who to endorse….huh? Aren’t you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the African daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the Republican party’s worldwide economic assault on Africa over the last few decades since Reagan?”

Damned if the old fatty doesn’t make some valid points. Now it’s back to cheesecake and hot flashes.

Amy Winehouse thinks that her and Blake Fielder-Civil will be amazing parents. She’s hoping to create her own freaky Addams Family, only more creepy.

“Blake and I can’t wait to have kids. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time.To be honest, I think kids have got a lot more going on than adults. They’ve got their heads screwed on a lot better.”

Sweety can you get mommy that knife, it’s time to cut on myself.

Their ages are 3 and 4. I’d be in therapy too if my mom was an attention whore and my dad liked to snort coke off a prostitutes ass. They’re in therapy now, so it’s a done deal that they will be clinically insane by 8 years old. Denise told In Touch :

“My kids are in therapy. It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.”

Here at PopTherapy, we can offer a group rate where we beat both of you senseless, make you apologize for shitty TV and give the kids to Angelina Jolie.

How are you gonna reinvent the bottle? It’s a tough one. There’s only so much you can do. So, why not market it to carry your pee all over the place?

Comes in his and hers blue and pink. Proudly pee anywhere you like, then carry it with you. Maybe take snapshots of you holding your pee bottle at famous landmarks. Just look at the kids in that pic. Those are some happy kids. They appear to be smelling their own urine.

[Mypeebottle]

Nicole Kidman has had enough of the church of nutjobs.

At the New York premiere of Ian Halperin’s film, “His Highness Hollywood,” a Scientology insider told Halperin that Kidman “wants her kids out of the church.” Halperin beat up on the faith in his book, “Hollywood Undercover,” and said he wasn’t surprised when, during the premiere, “the projector had been sabotaged.”

We at PopTherapy are glad to hear that she is putting her foot down on that little Tom Cruise insect. Here’s hoping that his guts make a nice squishy sound.

[Celebrityrumors]

I thought Joan Rivers already had that job. Jesus, that one is starting to look like one of the Nazis that didn’t look away from the Ark of the Covenant when Indy warned everybody to keep their eyes shut.

Anyway, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a certified plastic surgeon, wrote a children’s book/ horror story called “My Beautiful Mommy” that explains to kids about their mommy’s new body parts. Isn’t that adorable? Newsweek reports:

Salzhauer got the idea for a book after noticing that women were coming into his office with their kids in tow. He says that mysterious doctor’s visits can be frightening for children. “Parents generally tend to go into this denial thing. They just try to ignore the kids’ questions completely.” But, he adds, children “fill in the blanks in their imagination” and then feel worse when they see “mommy with bandages,” he says. “With the tummy tucks, [the mothers] can’t lift anything. They’re in bed. The kids have questions.”

Questions like:

Mommy, why are your boobs all lopsided and hard?

Mommy, why are you leaking silicon again?

Mommy, why do you smell like formaldehyde and vodka?

All good questions. Kid’s are smart.

[Thesuperficial]

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t let this B-movie creature anywhere near my kids. The pic was apparently taken at a local pub in Oxfordshire yesterday.

Winehouse was supposedly in town recording the upcoming James Bond movie theme. There are some unconfirmed reports that Sigourney Weaver showed up an hour later asking if anyone had seen an alien queen.

[Extratv]

The sad trainwreck that is Britney came to a grinding halt last night after a stand-off with police.

After a 3 hour custodial dispute, Britney refused to hand over her two sons to that rapping wonder known as K-Fed. The stand-off included six police cars, an ambulance, a fire truck, and of course the mandatory media helicopters. Video here.

Officers showed up at Britney’s home, and she was eventually carried out to a waiting ambulance. One officer noted that she was under the influence of an unknown substance. Eventually, they took Britney to the Cedars Medical Center for psychiatric evaluation.

She’s under a 5150 hold, which per the medical code is used, “when any person, as a result of mental disorder, is a danger to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled.”

Apparently her son, Sean Preston, was rushed to an emergency room as well. Let’s hope the kid at least is alright.

It’s all part of Britney’s sad downfall. Let’s face it, she never had much of a childhood before fame was thrust upon her. And now she has kids of her own who are sure to be affected.

She needs to get her shit together. Britney, like all the rest make ungodly money. Why can they not just get the hell out of Lala land, clean up and be a valuable member of society. Is being in the spotlight more important then your kids?

I mean, for awhile there we really enjoyed you getting on stage and shaking your ass, but it’s time to move on babe.

Why am I always the one who has to school you Hollywood freaks about common sense?

[TrendHunter]