Jesus Christ! WTF. That honker is so freaking huge the dude has to be hiding a camera in that thing, filming the kiss super up close like that awesome vintage swedish porn stuff. Look at the way he’s grabbing her. Like he’s pulling her in closer to slurp her up with his Howard Stern implant. It’s a mammoth nose. The kind of nose that occasionally throughout history has saved the Jewish people while walking through deserts and such.

It’s always nice when an old leathery skank mentors a young used up skank. The Sun reports that the pair will join forces for Madonna’s “sticky and sweet tour”. Sticky and sweet?

How about Itchy and Scratchy? That’s how your left feeling after being with either one. If Madonna looks at you through the TV your dick burns. They will “appear together almost naked apart from tiny leather bondage pants and knee-high boots”.

Unfortunately, it’s just for a movie. But that’s pretty cool too. It’s win/win when 2 quality Hollwood skanks swap spit. They are starring in the scandalous love affair film Vicky Cristina Barcelona by Woody Allen.(Oh shit. Woody Allen. That means you’ll have to sit through a bunch of touchy feely crap till you get to the good part.)