Why does my daughter not loan me some money! Punch! Take that silly ribbon off! Punch! Is it wrong to think my daughter is hot and go into her panty drawer? Punch!

And for the love of god, why do I look like The Greatest American Hero guy? Punch!

I’ve wondered for years just how you screw a kid up and have him grow up to be Marilyn Manson. Well, now I know.

Apparently, one way to get a creepy rock star kid is to have a creepy mom who keeps her kid’s foreskin from the day of his circumcision in a small case.

According to Manson himself, mommy dearest was very proud of it. When she would visit, she would that case and wave it around. They might ask Sothebys to auction it off one day in the future.

I have to go wash my brain out after this article. Where I come from mom’s don’t go waving around a magic foreskin case.

[StupidCelebrities]

Someone, somewhere apparently followed through on that age old threat of, “I’m telling your mom!”, because Amy Winehouse’s mother has had enough. She wrote a public letter to a British Sunday newspaper pleading with her daughter to come home for help to deal with her personal traumas.

Now? I know someone tattled, because the tattood and graffitied subway wreck that is Amy Winehouse has been off the rails for a long freaking time. Apparently Mommy Winehouse hadn’t noticed before or was too embarrassed to come forward.

But when you are skinny enough, skanky enough, and class-less enough, I guess a good mom will come out of the depths and give you that ass-whoopin you really need.

If I could ask one thing of the mother…Two things: Please see that your precious little skank muffin keeps her clothes on at all times and please don’t let her reproduce with that freak of a husband.

I just saw a pic of the lovely couple and they look like they’re a shotgun short of being the Clampetts. As in Jed and Elly Mae. (How can they look so inbred, despite not being related?)

[Aol]