Sometimes I hear something so repulsive I want to jump the hell off of this spinning blue marble and incinerate myself in the sun. According to Variety, the suck-cess of Alvin and the Chipmunks have led to a soon to be made Smurf movie.

We’re very excited to introduce a new generation to Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other smurftastic Smurfs in all of their ‘three-apple-tall’ glory,” [said] Columbia co-president Doug Belgrad.

When asked point blank if he was fucked in his Smurf loving head, he chuckled, toked on his joint and toyed with his Gargamel figure.

The smurfs movie was said to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse. It’s in the bible and everything. The one that I wrote when I was mind-humping that hippie cult out west. Hey, it was a different era. The hippie chick sex was good and allowed me to father a ton of children without paying crap. Needless to say, when the Jesus UFO failed to show up, people got a little pissed. It’s amazing how many problems all get solved at once with a huge vat of kool-aid.

[Variety]

At the theater-owners convention ShoWest on Thursday, Lucas talked about some of the upcoming Star Wars projects, as well as showing a sequence from “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” a computer-animated movie due in theaters Aug. 15. It will be continued with a TV series that will air on the Cartoon Network and TNT this fall.

The big screen Star Wars movie will take place in the years between episodes II and III — “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”. Both the movie and series will have fresh adventures of Jedi warrior Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

In addition, Lucas is also charging forward with a live-action “Star Wars” TV show that will focus mainly on new characters not named Skywalker. This show will be set in the decades between “Revenge of the Sith” and “A New Hope”.

Let’s hope that all of these projects have more originality then the prequels. Because if they don’t, the franchise may finally fall flat on it’s face, like Star Trek.

[MSNBC]

Yesterday Myspace launched it’s Celebrity Channel(celebrity.myspace.com), a move that will allow the site’s 110 million users a one-stop access to the personal pages and blogs of more than 300 actors, musicians, athletes and other high-profile types.

The channel will include exclusive star content ranging from interviews to video. They are hoping to attract big advertisers so that it will serve as a promotional platform for Fox films and TV.

I think stars hanging out on Myspace is lame, personally. And smart people know that it’s the PR people who will be the ones blogging.

I’m concerned that this will detract from the various and numerous skanks that call Myspace home. I’d hate to see them put out of work. Then they’d have to go tend to their kids and go back to bars at night, instead of sending useless *hugs* and *kisses* to some other loser who’s typing in Dorito stained undies.

[Celebrity.MySpace.com]