In an interview with News of the World, the talentless star says she’s happy with boyfriend Benji Madden, but that previous men in her life all used her for money and/or sex.

Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex — but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people. After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me. And that made things really difficult.

I thought money and sex was all she had to offer. What other talent does she have? I say use what god gave you.

I have no idea who told her that this shit was a good idea. I think she’s just bored and trying to stay relevant by not being very funny.

Here’s a nice upskirt of Paris. I expected to see a few crabs, a lobster or two and maybe some cooties, but nope. They must have all retreated to her anus.

Paris is trying really hard to stay relevant, going so far as recruiting Martin and Charlie Sheen to star in videos with her. It’s all pretty boring. She needs to just make the leap to porn star. Then she would at least have an excuse for contracting some diseases.

Paris Hilton is looking for a new BFF and she’s taking to the airwaves to do it. Her latest song, “My BFF,” premiered on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show Tuesday. It’s one half sperm whale getting it’s anus ripped apart by a bulldozer and one half sound byte from a slaughterhouse. My ears are fucking killing me now.

It will be the theme to her new MTV show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, which starts tonight.

Hear it here.

Look at the pic above. The angel of VD has come to wave her magic wand and unleash crabs all over your pubes. It’s an ad campaign for her latest perfume, which I’m guessing smells like hooker with a touch of vomit and desperation….But I’d still do her.

Photos from Repo! The Genetic Opera have been released featuring Paris Hilton and her costar Alexa Vega. The long-awaited horror rock opera will be coming out on November 7, with Paris donning long black hair, dark makeup and bondage gear as one of the movie’s villains.

The pic makes me want to do her, but protect my sack from her psycho sex attacks. Just like when she looks normal.

Not only that but I’m considering a class action against her for not starring in hardcore porn. There’s a lot of nerd juice that needs milked in this country and she ain’t doing her part.

She’s being sued by the distributors of National Lampoon’s Pledge This! She was paid $1 million to star in the 2006 film that went straight to DVD, but never fulfilled her promotional obligations, according to E! Online:

Per the lawsuit filed today in U.S. District Court in Miami, Hilton, who was also listed as an executive producer, owes $75,000 in damages for failing to provide “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie.

Yeah. And where’s my porn?

Paris Hilton actually got some respect from me with this video where she responds to that old fart Mccain.

Paris lays by the pool in a bathing suit looking through a magazine for the best place to get a tan. She says “only I’m not from the olden days… I’m just hot.”

She offers her solution to the nation’s energy crisis and excuses herself to pick out her vice president, assuming that, since she was in a commercial, she’s now a candidate. (She’s thinking Rihanna.)

PARIS HILTON is not happy with JOHN MCCAIN after he used her image in a political advertisement to attack BARACK OBAMA without her approval.

The commercial aired for the first time on Wednesday, and accuses Obama of becoming a celebrity. Images of him flash up on screen alongside Hilton and Britney Spears, while a narrator says: “He’s the biggest celebrity in the world, but is he ready to lead?”

A spokesperson for the star says, “Miss Hilton was not asked, nor did she give permission for the use of her likeness in the ad and has no further comment.”