Kim Kardashian has been quiet lately. Probably because she’s making her own scents.

It has always been a dream of mine to start my own perfume business, since I love to mix fragrances together and come up with new and different scents! I hope you understand my total excitement as I let you, the readers of my blog, become the first to know that I am creating my own fragrance!!!

I have decided to work with New Wave Fragrances, who also distribute Ed Hardy and True Religions fragrances.

I’m guessing it smells like sex on a crab boat. With a touch of wet fart.

Thanks to some mad scientist German company you can now buy a perfume that will make you smell like a vagina. But wait, I thought this was Paris Hilton’s scent. That’s right, she’s the “after” scent. My mistake.

Anyway, according to the makers of Vulva, their product is not a perfume, but “a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.” Uhhh, OK.

The “research team” is working on complimenting the original scent with two new smells, “Exotic” and “Eighteen”. The latter is just wrong. Even more wrong than this blog post.

I gotta say, I can’t think of any better way to get the cats in the neighborhood all in one place.

[Bestweekever]

Now you’ll be able to smell the likes of Tom Cruise coming from a mile away thanks to scentology.

A doctor has now begun selling aromatherapy type perfumes with a Scientology slant. However, the Doc claims that Aromatherapy is based on folklore and the diverse general effect of natural oil fragrances. “Scentology IS aromachology, the specific scientifically demonstrated effects of fragrance on mood, mind and behavior.” So does that mean it will make me jump on Oprah’s couch and proclaim that I am in love 100 times?

There are three different Scentology oils priced at $25 each. Peppermint is supposed to help you with endurance, vanilla is to control your craving, and orange is a “bliss booster.” So if you want to join the ranks of Scientology, and see what the other half smells, $25 is all it will cost.

[Scentology] VIA [Slippery Brick]