Icelandic pop singer and all around freak Bjork attacked a news photographer in New Zealand, ripping his shirt in half after he ignored a request not to snap any shots.

When you spot Bjork in the wild, you have to be terribly careful and not get too close. Only the Steve Irwin’s of the entertainment world can handle such a specimen and get away unscathed.

Crikey, have a go at this. I’ve just spotted the rare and cagey Bjork. This species of singer is native to Iceland. Many scientists believe it to be the product of a rare mutation. Now, ya don’t wanna approach her too quickly. It can often be seen wearing a swan as a dress, or some other bad fashion. Even the other singers, steer wide clear of this one. Ain’t she a beauty though? Notice how she opens ‘em mandibles hitting a high note. This lulls the prey directly in her jaws, or in this case into ‘er concerts. She eats ‘er prey alive, until it’s digested and left on the concert floor as excrement, for the roadies to tend to. No, you don’t want to tangle with this in the wild…

Video of her 1996 rampage after the jump.

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What a class act. Amy was at a jazz club, restaurant and then a store late last night. I know because I keep close tabs on her. She scares the hell out of me. It’s good to know where she is at all times, since she looks like a skanky demon and all. I’m sure the Vatican is watching closely too.

Anyway, at one point, she spat at the cameramen who had tailed her. That in itself isn’t very surprising. I mean, she’s no sweet and lovable Jennifer Love Hewitt. What is surprising is the size of that loogie and how white it looks.

Now I’m not implying anything here, but the day before this incident, Amy visited her husband, Blake Civil-Fielder, at London’s Pentonville Prison. Her visit lasted about half an hour. I’m not sure if it was a conjugal visit or not. You put it all together.

All I know is, that loogie somehow manages to look every bit as nasty as she who hurled it.

I think she has given us enough stories for a greatest hits retrospective at some point. Check out this pic if you want to see what she looks like with white powder in her nose.

[StupidCelebrities]