Fuck. The Spears push out more toddlers then Disney at closing time. Jamie Lynn Spears, might already be knocked up again according to The National Enquirer. They are reporting that Britney’s sis is eight weeks pregnant. This is only three months after she gave birth to her other spawn.

In what is surely a flashback to Jamie Lynn’s own birth, her friends urge an abortion.

“They’ve reminded Jamie Lynn how much trouble she had adjusting to motherhood with Maddie, and pointed out that having a second baby now would only be a recipe for disaster,” a source said.

After exposing her own silicone twins in countless hours of mind numbing porn, Jenna is now expecting twin babies. So I guess some sperm got in her rather then on her for once. On her MySpace blog, the adult film actress has confirmed that she’s expecting twins with boyfriend Tito Ortiz:

I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can’t even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me.

It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally… the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

Is Paris..
A. Getting fat?

B. Modeling her new line of maternity ware?

C. Showing off her new belly mutation because the primordial soup of guy spunk in her stomach decided it wants to evolve?

Angelina Jolie sat down with Entertainment Weekly and talked about her new movies Wanted and Changeling. She also started talking about her sex life while pregnant. Big surprise.

It’s great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you’re just so round and full.

Great fun, poking an infant in the head with Brad Pitt’s wang. Oh yeah, I’m sure the kid will thank you while he struggles with constant headaches and a lifelong fear of taking meat to the face. Real nice!

Mad, our 6-year-old, draws lots of war scenarios,” she explains. ”He’s all into war and guns. So for Mother’s Day he drew a machine gun, and Brad had it made into a necklace, which is really sweet. It’s really cute. I think it’s really good!”

Oh, that’s real good. This one must have walked in on the fetus humping, sees the Brad gun firing off a few rounds and now he’s got a thing for machine guns. Cute. Nice to see the Addams family in it’s early stages here.

[EW]

Word is that Naomi Campbell had some kind of surgery in order to make it possible for her to have kids. She won’t say what type of surgery she had or give any details about her condition, but says now she can become a mother.

I’m guessing she had her secret, but long, weiner chopped off and turned into a vajayjay. Yep everything should be alright now. And she won’t have those unsightly balls that need scratching anymore. I’m looking forward to her book, From Penis To Vajayjay: One Woman’s Journey.

[Celebpulp]

We here at the Therapy like to help all the whack-jobs with weird fetishes. With that in mind, here’s Jessica Alba’s pregnant belly. Have fun.

Hot on the heels of the Lisa Marie fat pictures, we now learn that she is having a baby. And no, it’s not all baby weight, unless the baby was in it’s 24th month.

She is expecting a child in the fall with her fourth husband, People magazine reported Thursday. It quoted her spokesman as saying they were “incredibly overjoyed.”

[AOL]

Who knew David Spade was even still around? It seems the pint sized comedian is more clever then I ever gave him credit for. He is in fact, brilliant. My logic is like this:

Every young man dreams of scoring with a playmate or two, or fifty, a dream which continues into manhood. David Spade is apparently in a position to bang enough playmates, that they could put one on each page and devote a whole issue to it. For some reason…

But David is not content to just bang a magazine girl and enjoy the fact that she’s staple free and has no fold down the middle…No, what he did was a sheer stroke of genius. He is obviously from the, “If I impregnate one, I get to keep her” school.

It reminds me of that old joke: A father and son stand on a hill overlooking a flock of sheep. The son says, “Hey, let’s run down there and bang one of those sheep.” The father being older and wiser says, “No son. We shall WALK down and bang them ALL.”

My hat is off to you sir! I am sorry I ever doubted your Poon cred and sexual orientation!

[DamnImCute]

Please. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Aren’t the Spears sisters from Louisiana? So Jamie Lynn was already very likely barefoot. Now she will just be barefoot and pregnant.

We all knew that with Brit’s success, the younger one would be pressured to enter the spotlight and follow in her footsteps. Seems like she is taking her role very seriously. Pregnant, just like her big sis role model. She says that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.

BUT if she really wanted to follow in her sis’ footsteps she would have let K-Fed knock her up. That would have been a story.

Oh…She’s only 16.

“It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected,” she said. “I was in complete and total shock and so was he.”

Like…OMG! F**king can lead to a baby?

[AOL]