This pretty much parallels the current election.

I have no idea who told her that this shit was a good idea. I think she’s just bored and trying to stay relevant by not being very funny.

Paris is trying really hard to stay relevant, going so far as recruiting Martin and Charlie Sheen to star in videos with her. It’s all pretty boring. She needs to just make the leap to porn star. Then she would at least have an excuse for contracting some diseases.

Paris Hilton actually got some respect from me with this video where she responds to that old fart Mccain.

Paris lays by the pool in a bathing suit looking through a magazine for the best place to get a tan. She says “only I’m not from the olden days… I’m just hot.”

She offers her solution to the nation’s energy crisis and excuses herself to pick out her vice president, assuming that, since she was in a commercial, she’s now a candidate. (She’s thinking Rihanna.)

Who will you be voting for when it is time to name our next president? One person who really scares us is Hillary Clinton. It often feels like we are seeing an animated figure at work when she appears on stage.

Wait…someone seems to agree with us. The power of entrepreneurs strikes in the form of this Animated Hillary Clinton Figure. Watch Clinton boogie to a campaign song fit for her! Made of plastic and probably made in China - yours for around $20.

If, of course, you aren’t 100 percent sure you want to lay out cash for this thing, there’s a nice, entertaining video you can watch of Hillary below…

Oprah was worried that she did not get enough press with us regarding her oversized crop circle head, so she’s back.

She is worried about the direction of her country and said that she has a personal belief in Barack Obama. So she endorsed him for President. Together they may soon rule the world. Not since Vader and Palpatine has there been a more powerful alliance. I hear they are building a nifty round space station in orbit and putting Dr. Phil in Charge…

The campaign said 18,500 people showed up in Des Moines. At least one person near the stage passed out, and paramedics came in to help.

We’ll keep you up to date on any and all “Oprahpalooza” news.

[Yahoo]