Jessica Alba is reportedly being considered to fill the thigh-high boots of Jane Fonda in the new remake of “Barbarella.” The news just got me instantly hard and my laptop did a double flip in the air. Luckily I caught it, deciding at the last minute to spare my computer rather then pleasure myself thinking about Jessica Alba as Barbarella. Wait. That’s the old sci-fi flick right? Not the elephant cartoon? Yeah that was Babar….

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the time has come to treat movie audiences to another dose of Killer Tomatoes. No word on plot yet, but it will obviously be about Tomatoes attacking.

To the writer/director:

I want to see T-shirts stuffed with big boobs get drenched in tomatoe juice as women slip and slide and run for their lives. During said scene, they might also be pelted with small gushy exploding tomatoes. Oh, and I would like to see the bustiest actress you have chomped by a giant tomatoe and disappear. Then after she struggles inside, she can burst out of the top, all wet and juicy, only to find out the tomatoe ate her top.

Thank you Santa,

Conner

P.S. If you can get a truckload of tomatoes to come alive and crash into the Pussycat Dolls, thereby giving them superhuman powers, that only work when they are wet, that would be awesome.

[Hollywood Reporter]