Some friends of the Cruises are saying that his cars are equipped with bulletproof windows and are also bomb proof! Get a grip buddy! Word is his cars look totally normal, but are in fact armored fortresses. The God of Scientology needs to be protected after all and these are like his Pope-mobiles. This paranoid fruitcake allegedly doesn’t even let Katie drive likes and he likes to drive her himself. For Xenu’s sake dude, let the woman have some alone time! Women need alone time. At least that’s what they always tell me just before I never see them again.

For Christ’s sake Tommy boy, you mean to tell me you got your own version of Wile E. Coyote out there setting traps and trying to assassinate you in your car? So you bought yourself some ACME vehicle armor kits, huh? I bet it’s Dr. Drew. You two really need to cool your feud and make love already.

[Hollyscoop]

Dr. Drew, you know that fake Doctor otherwise known as Dr. Douche from celebrity rehab. He thinks Tom Cruise is a nutjob. I think it’s funny that he needed a degree to figure that out. So, in the latest issue of Playboy, one douchebag disses another as the doctor laid down some smack about Tom Cruise.

“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood - maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”

That’s interesting, and probably true, but my own psycological evaluation of Dr. Drew uncovered some disturbing things. He’s a bed-wetter, with mother issues, but not in the way you think. He likes his mother to wet the bed for him and he has an issue with it if he feels the bitch is holding out on him.

These psycologists are the lowest form of life, and they’re twice as bad when they’re on TV milking their made-up craft. Alot like Scientology actually.

Will Smith claims to not be a Scientologist last I heard. Then why is he funding a Scientology school? He reportedly donated $1 million to open a private school ran by Scientology. For fuck’s sake!!!! These two are converting brainless sheep faster then a speeding bullet. FOX News reports:

The New Village Academy plans to use some teaching methods developed within the Church of Scientology and has hired a team of Scientologists to put them into action. Pinkett-Smith, who currently home-schools the couple’s two children, has long been talking about opening up a school where Jaden, 9, and Willow, 7, can continue to receive an education in line with their beliefs, friends told FOXNews.com. So she and her actor husband are bankrolling the pre-kindergarten through sixth grade school in Calabasas, Calif., and they have selected a group of Scientologists, including the Director of Learning, Director of Qualifications and Artistic Director, to create that atmosphere. But you won’t find references to the Church of Scientology on NVA’s Web site. Ron Reynolds, executive director of the California Association of Private School Organizations, a consortium of the state’s private and religious schools, said it’s not the actual teaching of Scientology methods that raises a red flag for him. His concern is the school’s non-disclosure about its apparent religious affiliation. “School should be forthright about its purposes. And if it’s a religious school, I don’t see why it wouldn’t wish to announce its religious affiliation loud and clear,” Reynolds said.

That’s messed up. Now they’re infiltrating our schools. For the love of all that is holy, I hope their cosmic ride comes soon to pick them up.

[Damnimcute]

So Tom and Kate moved into some new digs in Beverly Hills and threw a housewarming party. I’m guessing it involved rituals to their UFO god, where one guest gets anally raped at a time until they have enough butt-fuel to escape Earth’s velocity and get back to wherever the fuck they’re from. Oprah was there too. You’ll get a ton of methane ass fuel from that one.

It goes without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway. The party had an ulterior Scientology motive:

One attendee said, “Everyone he’s been having issues with was invited: Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, you name it. Then there were all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology ‘cures’ gays . . . There’s a tenet in Scientology that basically says, ‘After you cut people off, you have to invite them back in

Scientology “cures” gays? I guess Tom is the exception to the rule.

[Page Six]

Recent pictures of 2-year-old Suri Cruise, spawn of Tom and Kate, still using a bottle made some question Tom and Katie’s parenting skills. But maybe it’s Scientology’s fault.

According to Defamer, L. Ron Hubbard ordered Scientologist moms to feed their children a mixture of barley water, homogenized milk, and lots of honey, which is a recipe he obtained during time travel to ancient Rome. Some say the cocktail can be toxic.

I say get all babies away from Scientologists as quick as humanly possible. But as far as their formula being toxic, I think it might surprise many people to know just how toxic most mainstream baby formula is as well. And I’m not just saying that so I can see moms breastfeeding. Okay, I am. I walk around the mall to get my fix of milfs handing out liquid lunch. So what?

[Defamer]

Tom Cruise is trying to resell himself as the mega movie star of yesteryear, who is clearly not gay. Today, he launched his new website Tom Cruise.com. Surprisingly, it’s not powered by geocities, although I had heard that he was hoping for that. If you click around, you’ll find a lot of meaningless and shameless self promotion. It’s all very suspicious as there’s no mention of Scientology or Katie.

It’s all clearly not gay, the cheesy poses, the music, the message from Tom. Yep, it’s all very straight and boring. But it still doesn’t convince me somehow…That he’s not gay.

[Tomcruise.com]

Star Magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes has been a bad girl. She spent 3 days at Gold Base, the Scientology compound in Hemet, CA. According to an inside source, she went through some serious tests and purification sessions at Tom Cruise’s insistence.

The source said that the boot camp includes, “various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes. Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.” Apparently, one of the auditing sessions reportedly lasts 36 hours with little sleep and food.

Seems that things haven’t changed all that much since L. Ron Hubbard decided to create himself a fake religion all those years ago. I’ll never understand why so many people have fallen for it, but the old jackass was right. There’s a ton of money to be made having your own religion. One can only hope that the more brutal aspects that we’ve heard about are no longer in practice, but somehow I think they are alive and well.

[Damnimcute]

Nicole Kidman has had enough of the church of nutjobs.

At the New York premiere of Ian Halperin’s film, “His Highness Hollywood,” a Scientology insider told Halperin that Kidman “wants her kids out of the church.” Halperin beat up on the faith in his book, “Hollywood Undercover,” and said he wasn’t surprised when, during the premiere, “the projector had been sabotaged.”

We at PopTherapy are glad to hear that she is putting her foot down on that little Tom Cruise insect. Here’s hoping that his guts make a nice squishy sound.

[Celebrityrumors]

And I’m pretty sure he’s smoked some judging by his insanity.

Some licensed marijuana clubs in California are selling a strain of pot called “Tom Cruise Purple”. The vials feature a picture of the scientologist laughing hysterically.

[Damnimcute]

I feel like I’ve been mind-fucked after watching this thing. It starts out with Cruise entering to some Top-Gun music as scenes from Top Gun play behind the guitarist. Then Cruise is in his seat acting INSANE and DEMENTED as he claps like a retard. It goes downhill from there.

Funny thing is, Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star is prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. This enraged the sect:

“Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous,” the Scientologists maintained. “He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church.”

Then what the hell gives? This aint a bash for your average converted pod person.

After the movie clips are played, and the bands perform, Cruise says: “This is incredible… It’s the best birthday ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean ever!”

Thanks Tom, this shit never gets old. Scientology keeps me in stitches and I don’t just mean when they force your eyes open to look at the pretty lights.

[Gawker]