Apparently Jennifer Lopez has been converted to Scientology by her best friend, King of Queens star Leah Remini, who I would bang like a particle accelerator creating a black hole. In an interview with The Daily Beast, J. Lo says she’d let her children attend a Scientology school then basically confesses she’s part of the cult herself:

“I do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. It’s very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it.”
“Do you consider yourself a Scientologist?”
“No…I wouldn’t have a problem saying [I was] because I know what it is. I have no problems with it and it really actually bothers me that people have such a negative feeling towards it.”
“That it is too exotic? Too cultish?”
“Just negative feelings.”
“Would you consider schooling Emme and Max in a Scientology school?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful…It’s all about communication. That’s the thing I really don’t like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion…I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.”

Yeah, it must be hard defending a religion that L. Ron Hubbard created on a whim to make money. And L. Ron was never ever cruel to his followers, especially women… JLO get a fucking grip and smell the foul anus of reality….As for you Leah Remini, I’ll show you religion that will have you on your knees and on your back crying out the name of your one true god…me.

Word is that Scientologists are out to get Amy. Like they don’t have enough freaks in their ranks.

Members of the Church of Scientology want Wino to get on their Narconon drugs program, which it claims has helped hundreds of people kick their addiction, according to the Sunday Mirror.

“She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back To Black album,” said a source.

Just like the fucking Nazis! They will rat out anyone so that they may sacrifice souls to Tom. And Amy’s soul would be quite tasty. A hint of smack with skank sauce, with an aftertaste of wet fart.

I guess she’s already learning Tom’s art of Scientology hypnotism. You know the one that makes people like you even though you’re a douche. Katie looks naturally scared and subservient to Suri.

Protesters outside the “All My Sons” production expressed their displeasure with the cult of Scientology and Tom Cruise, who was personally on hand to babysit his Stepford wife.

Scientology? You’re sucking on it. Shouldn’t she have moved on to sippy cups by now at least. Perhaps she sucks from the milk of special Scientology cows? weird. And Katie continues to look like an old yenta that you wouldn’t bang in a million years.

Some friends of the Cruises are saying that his cars are equipped with bulletproof windows and are also bomb proof! Get a grip buddy! Word is his cars look totally normal, but are in fact armored fortresses. The God of Scientology needs to be protected after all and these are like his Pope-mobiles. This paranoid fruitcake allegedly doesn’t even let Katie drive likes and he likes to drive her himself. For Xenu’s sake dude, let the woman have some alone time! Women need alone time. At least that’s what they always tell me just before I never see them again.

For Christ’s sake Tommy boy, you mean to tell me you got your own version of Wile E. Coyote out there setting traps and trying to assassinate you in your car? So you bought yourself some ACME vehicle armor kits, huh? I bet it’s Dr. Drew. You two really need to cool your feud and make love already.

[Hollyscoop]

Dr. Drew, you know that fake Doctor otherwise known as Dr. Douche from celebrity rehab. He thinks Tom Cruise is a nutjob. I think it’s funny that he needed a degree to figure that out. So, in the latest issue of Playboy, one douchebag disses another as the doctor laid down some smack about Tom Cruise.

“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood – maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”

That’s interesting, and probably true, but my own psycological evaluation of Dr. Drew uncovered some disturbing things. He’s a bed-wetter, with mother issues, but not in the way you think. He likes his mother to wet the bed for him and he has an issue with it if he feels the bitch is holding out on him.

These psycologists are the lowest form of life, and they’re twice as bad when they’re on TV milking their made-up craft. Alot like Scientology actually.

Will Smith claims to not be a Scientologist last I heard. Then why is he funding a Scientology school? He reportedly donated $1 million to open a private school ran by Scientology. For fuck’s sake!!!! These two are converting brainless sheep faster then a speeding bullet. FOX News reports:

The New Village Academy plans to use some teaching methods developed within the Church of Scientology and has hired a team of Scientologists to put them into action. Pinkett-Smith, who currently home-schools the couple’s two children, has long been talking about opening up a school where Jaden, 9, and Willow, 7, can continue to receive an education in line with their beliefs, friends told FOXNews.com. So she and her actor husband are bankrolling the pre-kindergarten through sixth grade school in Calabasas, Calif., and they have selected a group of Scientologists, including the Director of Learning, Director of Qualifications and Artistic Director, to create that atmosphere. But you won’t find references to the Church of Scientology on NVA’s Web site. Ron Reynolds, executive director of the California Association of Private School Organizations, a consortium of the state’s private and religious schools, said it’s not the actual teaching of Scientology methods that raises a red flag for him. His concern is the school’s non-disclosure about its apparent religious affiliation. “School should be forthright about its purposes. And if it’s a religious school, I don’t see why it wouldn’t wish to announce its religious affiliation loud and clear,” Reynolds said.

That’s messed up. Now they’re infiltrating our schools. For the love of all that is holy, I hope their cosmic ride comes soon to pick them up.

[Damnimcute]

So Tom and Kate moved into some new digs in Beverly Hills and threw a housewarming party. I’m guessing it involved rituals to their UFO god, where one guest gets anally raped at a time until they have enough butt-fuel to escape Earth’s velocity and get back to wherever the fuck they’re from. Oprah was there too. You’ll get a ton of methane ass fuel from that one.

It goes without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway. The party had an ulterior Scientology motive:

One attendee said, “Everyone he’s been having issues with was invited: Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, you name it. Then there were all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology ‘cures’ gays . . . There’s a tenet in Scientology that basically says, ‘After you cut people off, you have to invite them back in

Scientology “cures” gays? I guess Tom is the exception to the rule.

[Page Six]

Recent pictures of 2-year-old Suri Cruise, spawn of Tom and Kate, still using a bottle made some question Tom and Katie’s parenting skills. But maybe it’s Scientology’s fault.

According to Defamer, L. Ron Hubbard ordered Scientologist moms to feed their children a mixture of barley water, homogenized milk, and lots of honey, which is a recipe he obtained during time travel to ancient Rome. Some say the cocktail can be toxic.

I say get all babies away from Scientologists as quick as humanly possible. But as far as their formula being toxic, I think it might surprise many people to know just how toxic most mainstream baby formula is as well. And I’m not just saying that so I can see moms breastfeeding. Okay, I am. I walk around the mall to get my fix of milfs handing out liquid lunch. So what?

[Defamer]