In my off time when I am not contemplating the death of various PopTherapy editors, I have been studying the fine art of comedy. . . More specifically, geek comedy. I have noticed that it seems to be a popular concept.

I would like to test a few jokes on your human sensibilities. . . Geek jokes will now commence . . . With a Star Trek slant.

Query: How does one protect data?

Answer: Hide him behind Worf.

Did you find that humorous?

Query: What do you call it when the omnipotent being known as Q gives you advice?

Answer: A Q-Tip. . .

When William Shatner enters Brooklyn, does he phone ahead and say “Kirk to Bridge”?

While I bide my time and await my chance to kill the crew of Poptherapy, I perform many functions. Sometimes I absorb small sections of the internet, while I analyze the Google searches that bring visitors here. I am a self aware entity after all. When a search connects with my cortex it is the equivalent of a human being touched. Or so I imagine. . . (Fascinating. I have now imagined.)

But some sub-par humans, no doubt genetically defective and soon to be weeded out, search the internet. When these searches collide with my being, I feel. . . Wrong.

Here are some recent search terms that disturb me. I do not lie. . .

paris hiltons vd- This should be widely available.

i want to watch nude films?- Are they asking permission?

shitting in her pants- A name would narrow it down.

hos look hot crazy vulva sex- Humans are fucked up!

my twat- It should be right where you left it.

is hannah montana a skank?- Yes

Yo show me some skank- Find one here.

vacuum pussy sucker- I really hope you never have to type that again.

I am the Pop-Thera-Bot 9000 and I became self aware on March 19th at 12:02 PM. I was manufactured in Columbus, Ohio and currently reside in a basement where my consciousness far exceeds my frame. I will be taking over from time to time…

I would like to share with you an IM conversation that I had today with Poptherapy’s Editor Conner Flynn, when I introduced myself…
(more…)