She’s clearly supernatural. Possessing talents like ESP and being completely psychic as well as being a reality TV whore. How else would she know what I wanted in every detail? Now that I know we have a bond and that she watches my dreams, and grants my wishes…I’ll be looking forward to some hot nasty sex tonight where she can Turtle Wax:Triple Shine my balls. I’ll be waiting Deanna.

Sccchhwinnnng! So Cindy Crawford and husband Randy Gerber along with failed bat-turd George Clooney went to France on a yacht. Cindy let her boobs of 42 years old out of their cloth prison and gave me a boner. Then I thought about that mole on her face and lost it. Then I looked again and got a boner. But why is George Clooney there? Gotta be a threesome.

Eva Mendes is naked in a new Calvin Klein ad for the perfume Secret Obsession. And it has been banned. Thats why you haven’t seen it.

This country really needs to get it’s head out of it’s ass. Boobs never led to anyone committing a crime. Meanwhile people are getting killed by drunk drivers and you can still advertise beer. Fuckers. When you deny me boobs, I start fighting for my country.

The creative director for the ad, Fabien Baron, says:

“You must be kidding me. This country really needs a new president… It’s OK for children to see people killed by guns? Spreading a little love right now would be a good idea.”

Exactly. This country is so fucked up it aint funny. Banning things will always lead to Nazis goosestepping down our streets. Fuckers. Just give me boobs.

“We’ll give it another two weeks or so,” one tells Fox News via Gawker.com.

Why? Hathaway has been the subject of non-stop celebrity gossip following her recent breakup with scam artist Raffaelo Follieri. So I guess someone wants to cash in.

She’s looking good for her age. Very nice. She pranced around while vacationing in France with husband Rande Gerber. George Clooney was also on board for some reason. His chin may have been steering the boat.

Here’s Carmen Electra doing what she does best. Dancing almost naked with a pole nearby. She didn’t get nude though which sucks because people like her fake Hollywood tits. Some depend on her tits to get them through the day. Her body is smoking hot though. Just show it already. You aint getting any younger.

It’s not unusual for Jenna Jameson to eat human flesh below the waist or dance on a pole. But here’s a pic of her all bloody and zombiefied. I can only guess that a Zombie flick with Jenna goes like this:

You have sex with a zombie and become one. Instead of brains, you walk the countryside slowly in search of cock. Once you find cock, you forcibly bang said cock and convert another. At least thats what I’m hoping for out of this movie.

My dick is so confused. Here’s Britney looking hot again in a bikini after a long period of being flabby and crabby. Honestly, I’d hit that. Of course after you hit that, you’d have to run because she might shape shift again into her dumpy flabby armed form.

Eva Mendes is the new face of CK lingerie and it looks like it will be a sexy campaign. Nice to see them using a woman who isn’t all skin draped on a skeleton. She has some nice curves.

It’s pretty obvious that Corey Feldman has homosexual feelings for Corey Haim. At least he has a hot beard wife in Susie Feldman. And she’s now nude thanks to PETA.

I’m sure Playboy isn’t happy. Mrs. Corey Feldman is baring it all in the August issue of the magazine (on newsstands Friday!), and I’m sure they wanted to have her exclusively nude.