I have a thing for Penelope Cruz. Unfortunately security never lets me get that thing anywhere near her. Probably has something to do with an incident that happened about a year ago, when I was in the John taking care of some urges, having seen her on set. I swear I had no idea it was part of the set. They coulda said something before getting a half hour’s worth of video. They probably sold the footage to some third world country, as educational or something. I tried to convince them that I knew they were there all along and was performing a new Got Milk concept ad. Hey whatever.

Here she is on the set of her latest movie, co-starring her ass cheeks.

[Drunkenstepfather]