Courtney Love (a.k.a. “Old Madonna in 1920’s” pinstripes above) claims that the ashes of her late husband Kurt Cobain were stolen. Get this. The ashes were stored in… A pink teddy bear bag with a lock of Kurt’s hair. Supposedly, it was taken from her house along with thousands of dollars in jewelry, according to News of the World:

Courtney said: “I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do.”
The sad news will sicken the millions of Cobain and Nirvana fans worldwide.

What’s weirder, the fact that Cobain’s ashes were stolen, or the fact that zombie Madonna here keeps them in a pink teddy bear bag…with hair?

I kept some cash and skittles in a blow-up doll once, but that was an emergency. And hey, Courtney, you’ve clearly been dead a long time already. I haven’t seen so much jibber-jabber from a zombie since Vincent Price introduced horror movies in the 70’s.

[Newsoftheworld]

Did you know that Paula Abduls urine was once stolen? Apparently, she gave a urine sample to her doctor and later was shocked to find out that she needed to give another sample, because some crazed fan stole her first one.

Now what the hell are you gonna do with Paula abduls Pee-Pee? Maybe I don’t wanna know. Just please don’t clone her.

Paula:

“Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynaecologist and my doctor said, ‘We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?’ “I told him that I’d left it out in reception, and when he came back he said, ‘This is really embarrassing but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it.’ Needless to say he got fired. In hindsight it’s a funny story.”

No, it’s creepy. Who knows, maybe the freak is so enamored with this has-been, that he figures he’s got a new cologne.

There’s a scary thought!

[dlisted]

Britney must make about $1 million a month, so why does she have to steal from a hard working blue collar gas station owner? Maybe we can add celebritheif to her repertoire. Because it looks like she may have stolen a cigarette lighter on her way back to her car, outside a Los Angeles-area Chevron gas station.

This latest controversy stems from her own big mouth. As she was leaving the station, it sounds like she says, “I stole something. Oh, I’m bad!” in video captured by paparazzi.

The owner of the station is not too thrilled with the often panty-less Princess.

“Yes, Britney stole a blue lighter here last night. The lighter is $1.39. I’m hoping maybe the next time she comes back she will pay for it. I know she can afford to pay for it, but I’m not planning to file a police report. It’s still not right for her to steal the lighter. I hope she will do the right thing the next time she comes here,”

What the hell Brit? You have become a no panty wearing, lighter stealing, losing your kids because of feces on the couch, too out of it to perform parody of yourself.

Do you even want to get your kids back? Jesuuus! Why do I gotta be the one to tell ya. Get it together.

[MSNBC]