According to Page Six, Suri Cruise is in desperate need of friends. The 2-year-old daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise doesn’t seem to get much playtime with other toddlers. A local spy who’s seen Suri around other children says:

“Whenever she sees kids, she gets excited and runs up to them and hugs them as if she never gets to see kids her own age. There’s not a lot of socialization there.” Indeed, almost every day there are different shots of Suri with her mother - always shopping and always alone.

Poor kid.

I guess she’s already learning Tom’s art of Scientology hypnotism. You know the one that makes people like you even though you’re a douche. Katie looks naturally scared and subservient to Suri.

More news from the whacked out world of Scientology.

Little Suri Cruise is not even two-years-old, but her parents treat her like an adult. That’s apprently because Tom and Katie, as Scientologists, believe their daughter has lived for billions of years or some crap. They probably believe she shits golden pellets from her diaper-hole, which they study under a microscope for secret messages regarding the coming of Zenu, their overlord.

Their daughter does not even go to bed until 11pm supposedly. Tom forbids television and will severely limit her internet use when she’s old enough to use a computer. He fears anti-Scientology messages. He does not want to anger the Scientology gods.

P.S. That kid looks downright evil!

[Damnimcute]