So the question is, when is Katie Holmes going to produce another Tom Cruise spawn? You know, so Tome can take over the world with Scientology. Ok! Magazine reports:

In the December issue of Glamour, the star of the upcoming Australia explains that Connor, her teenage son with Tom, is still hoping for a brother. “[He] would like one of us to have a boy,” she confesses. “He wants that boy. Katie?”
“At 41, Nicole knows she’s not likely to have another baby,” a friend of the actress tells OK!. “It’s obviously up to the much younger Katie to give Connor that baby brother.”
And the Cruises are more than ready to welcome a new child into their lives.
“Katie and Tom very much want another baby,” a friend of the couple tells OK!. “There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier.”

Look, it’s real simple. It’s called sex. Have some. Your demon spawn will follow soon after. Then you can continue your campaign of being the world’s biggest douche.

These are the pictures of little Tommy roasting Matt Lauer in NYC the other night. You know damn well Tom got wood. Looks like they are gonna start twirling each other. I’ve never seen two grown men thrust their areas into each other so gleefully.

That’s right. So you can stop your cheering, cancel the parties and cease thanking God that Katie Holmes will be safe. Tom is alive. I repeat. Alive. Still, most likely gayer than a Barbie Dream Doll picnic, but alive.

No Scientologists. He has not risen again. He just never died.

TOM CRUISE’s publicist has slammed internet reports the Hollywood actor has fallen to his death in New Zealand, insisting the star isn’t even in the country.

That is all.

Word is that Scientologists are out to get Amy. Like they don’t have enough freaks in their ranks.

Members of the Church of Scientology want Wino to get on their Narconon drugs program, which it claims has helped hundreds of people kick their addiction, according to the Sunday Mirror.

“She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back To Black album,” said a source.

Just like the fucking Nazis! They will rat out anyone so that they may sacrifice souls to Tom. And Amy’s soul would be quite tasty. A hint of smack with skank sauce, with an aftertaste of wet fart.

Some friends of the Cruises are saying that his cars are equipped with bulletproof windows and are also bomb proof! Get a grip buddy! Word is his cars look totally normal, but are in fact armored fortresses. The God of Scientology needs to be protected after all and these are like his Pope-mobiles. This paranoid fruitcake allegedly doesn’t even let Katie drive likes and he likes to drive her himself. For Xenu’s sake dude, let the woman have some alone time! Women need alone time. At least that’s what they always tell me just before I never see them again.

For Christ’s sake Tommy boy, you mean to tell me you got your own version of Wile E. Coyote out there setting traps and trying to assassinate you in your car? So you bought yourself some ACME vehicle armor kits, huh? I bet it’s Dr. Drew. You two really need to cool your feud and make love already.

[Hollyscoop]

Here’s the latest in the homosexual catfight between Dr. Drew and Tom Cruise. They’re at the stage where they’re sort of pulling each others pigtails because they like each other…A whole lot. In one corner we have Dr. Drew, whose career is built on the misery of others. In the other corner, we have Tom Cruise whose career is built around making those who watch him miserable.

Like a pint sized dictator, Cruise displayed the power of his Scientology cult…through his lawyer, who compared the psycho psychiatrist Dr. Drew Pinksy to notorious Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels after Pinksy criticized Cruise for his involvement in the cult. Tom Cruise himself has been compared to Goebbels by a prominent German WWII historian.

In next month’s Playboy, Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew,” says: “A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood – maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.” Cruise’s lawyer, Bert Fields, told us: “This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels.”

I agree with both of them. You are both douche. Just hump each other already.

[NYpost]

Dr. Drew, you know that fake Doctor otherwise known as Dr. Douche from celebrity rehab. He thinks Tom Cruise is a nutjob. I think it’s funny that he needed a degree to figure that out. So, in the latest issue of Playboy, one douchebag disses another as the doctor laid down some smack about Tom Cruise.

“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood – maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”

That’s interesting, and probably true, but my own psycological evaluation of Dr. Drew uncovered some disturbing things. He’s a bed-wetter, with mother issues, but not in the way you think. He likes his mother to wet the bed for him and he has an issue with it if he feels the bitch is holding out on him.

These psycologists are the lowest form of life, and they’re twice as bad when they’re on TV milking their made-up craft. Alot like Scientology actually.

So Tom and Kate moved into some new digs in Beverly Hills and threw a housewarming party. I’m guessing it involved rituals to their UFO god, where one guest gets anally raped at a time until they have enough butt-fuel to escape Earth’s velocity and get back to wherever the fuck they’re from. Oprah was there too. You’ll get a ton of methane ass fuel from that one.

It goes without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway. The party had an ulterior Scientology motive:

One attendee said, “Everyone he’s been having issues with was invited: Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, you name it. Then there were all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology ‘cures’ gays . . . There’s a tenet in Scientology that basically says, ‘After you cut people off, you have to invite them back in

Scientology “cures” gays? I guess Tom is the exception to the rule.

[Page Six]

Recent pictures of 2-year-old Suri Cruise, spawn of Tom and Kate, still using a bottle made some question Tom and Katie’s parenting skills. But maybe it’s Scientology’s fault.

According to Defamer, L. Ron Hubbard ordered Scientologist moms to feed their children a mixture of barley water, homogenized milk, and lots of honey, which is a recipe he obtained during time travel to ancient Rome. Some say the cocktail can be toxic.

I say get all babies away from Scientologists as quick as humanly possible. But as far as their formula being toxic, I think it might surprise many people to know just how toxic most mainstream baby formula is as well. And I’m not just saying that so I can see moms breastfeeding. Okay, I am. I walk around the mall to get my fix of milfs handing out liquid lunch. So what?

[Defamer]

Tom Cruise is trying to resell himself as the mega movie star of yesteryear, who is clearly not gay. Today, he launched his new website Tom Cruise.com. Surprisingly, it’s not powered by geocities, although I had heard that he was hoping for that. If you click around, you’ll find a lot of meaningless and shameless self promotion. It’s all very suspicious as there’s no mention of Scientology or Katie.

It’s all clearly not gay, the cheesy poses, the music, the message from Tom. Yep, it’s all very straight and boring. But it still doesn’t convince me somehow…That he’s not gay.

[Tomcruise.com]