I feel like I’ve been mind-fucked after watching this thing. It starts out with Cruise entering to some Top-Gun music as scenes from Top Gun play behind the guitarist. Then Cruise is in his seat acting INSANE and DEMENTED as he claps like a retard. It goes downhill from there.

Funny thing is, Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star is prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. This enraged the sect:

“Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous,” the Scientologists maintained. “He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church.”

Then what the hell gives? This aint a bash for your average converted pod person.

After the movie clips are played, and the bands perform, Cruise says: “This is incredible… It’s the best birthday ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean ever!”

Thanks Tom, this shit never gets old. Scientology keeps me in stitches and I don’t just mean when they force your eyes open to look at the pretty lights.

[Gawker]