Just because you control it doesn’t mean it’s not dangerous. If it looks like a zombie, it needs to be shot. Period. I mean this thing could bite your other RC toys and then we have a bunch of zombie gadgets on our hands.

Just use the brain shaped controller and watch it do it’s slow Zombie thing. Only $19.99.

[RCZombie]

Ah, to be young again. The simple joys of play. Rocking on my rocking horse for minutes on end…Only to be forced to get off by a kid sized bladder and the need to drain the dragon.

Some brave inventor has said, “Screw that jazz. I piss where I play. Never again will play be cut short.” And so it is that we have…this. The Rocking Horse Toilet.

Designer Perry Dixon claims that the Rocking Horse Toilet provides health benefits because of its unique construction. The “rider” can expel waste more effectively because his knees are elevated thanks to the foot pegs.

I don’t care how he spins it. He wanted an excuse to piss on a toy horse due to his Western/Cowboy/Piss fetish.

[Elseware]

The new Indiana Jones film will hit theaters in less than a month. Now you can get yourself a toy version of Indy’s most famous accessory. The bull whip. “Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you the whip.”

Watch your kid break every damn thing in your house, while he’s pretending to be an archaeologist.

Yes, it’s lame. Not dangerous at all. It’s a three foot soft whip with a plastic handle that plays authentic whip-cracking sound effects as you swing it, and the well-known Indiana Jones theme music. A switch on the handle turns the sounds on and off, and it even features a carrying strap for attaching it to your belt. It will cost you $26.99.

I personally was hoping for something a bit more dangerous.

[Entertainment Earth] VIA [Slippery Brick]

Candy holders don’t get any cooler than the Lost in Space Giant Pez Dispenser. Pop Pez in style. It’s a 12 inch tall Pez dispenser with authentic robot dialogue and sound effects. $24.99. Awesome.

[Perpetualkid]

You will no longer have to talk through a fan to sound like a Dalek. Now you can wear your own Dalek voice changing helmet and send a shiver down your own spine as you annoy the hell out of everyone saying, “EXTERMINATE”. You aren’t going to pass for a Dalek however, since your lower half will be exposed. It might be good to scare someone by hiding behind a large object. It’ll cost you just £40.

[Toyology]

This is THE Millennium Falcon toy that never arrived when we were kids. They had everything else, but no good Millenium Falcon. The 2.5-foot Hasbro Star Wars Legacy Collection Millennium Falcon, is probably the most realistic Falcon toy you can buy. It’s got LEDs everywhere, sound, movable parts, and absolutely every detail imaginable. The detail on this thing is absolutely stunning my friends.

Rejoice fellow geeks…but not so loudly that your mother kicks you out of the basement.

[Galactichunter]

Nobody was cooler then B.A. Baracus back in the day. Okay, I’m sure lots of people were, but they weren’t members of the A-Team.

Get yours for $19.95.

[Product Page]

Turn out lights. Grab your Penis flashlight and re-enact the famous duel between Darth vader and Luke Skywalker with your loved one. Then when you are all tuckered out from your freakish and perverse hobbies, put it in your night stand in case it’s needed.

If you hear something in the middle of the night, jump out of bed, illuminate your cock-saber and investigate. Should you encounter an intruder, he will be so scared seeing a glowing and illuminated cock that he will fly out the door quicker then Scooby and Shaggy in a haunted house.

On the off chance the intruder is for some reason, thrilled to see a huge glowing boner, just knock him out cold with a Penis to the head.

Security and protection all for $14.95. You can’t beat that with a…cock flashlight.

I want to order one as bait. I’m confident that if I mount this by the curb, it will attract every skank from their barstool, within a 5 mile radius. Sorta like the Bat-signal. I’ll let ya know.

[Nerd Approved]

It’s hump day here at the ‘Therapy. What better way to celebrate then by watching a pair of bunnies do the nasty. In order to make this a reality, all you need are a few AA batteries and in no time, you will have these two Bonking Bunnies humping like the rabbits they are. Also included are orgasmic sound effects for that added touch of realism. I really like the expression on the receiving bunny’s face.

Alas, it will take time for delivery and by then hump day will be over. I guess it’s back to posing action figures on my desk. There’s only so many times an ewok can give it to Princess Leia in the cockpit of a Tie Fighter.

[Nerd Approved]

That sounds like a sexual reference in a Heavy Metal song, minus the Hasbro part.

I first told you about Hasbro’s new line of Mighty Muggs toys last week. Well, Hasbro sent me a cool sample of none other then Spidey’s arch-rival Venom in Mighty Mugg form. I want to pass it on to a lucky reader.

Comment below before midnight on March 31st, for your chance to win him. Funniest comment wins! I want to hear some Mighty Muggs inspired comedy. Contest is open to anyone in the U.S.

These things are freakish and at the same time freakishly awesome, so it should be easy to make us laugh.
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